Fore! We suck!

Except for the occasional blustery dissident, no one really argues over golf’s sporthood anymore. It’s become a given. All that means, however, is that it’s one more sport the United States sucks at.

Our country has been in freefall on the international sports stage for a while now, and this weekend’s resounding defeat at the Ryder Cup, golf’s biannual U.S.-vs.-Europe World Series, only reinforces the point. Really, what do we have left? We’ve never had soccer, and with Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi gone tennis is looking bleak as well. It looked like we had cycling for a while, but it turned out the steroids were the real winner there.

The real punches to the gut, though, are basketball and baseball. These are sports WE MADE UP. When I made up games as a little kid, you could be damn sure I was going to win them. And our latest basketball defeat? The powerhouse Greeks, who celebrated by chugging olive oil, I think. There’s a country that’s been a real player on the world stage in the last 2000 years, right?

Looks like the only thing we have left is American football. Maybe we should continue to guard that from the rest of the world, for our own sakes.

Posted by Mike Stewart, Feature Editor

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