A campus-wide keg ban is, as the Voice has reported, suddenly a real possibility. With that in mind, check out this fine piece of journalism coming out of Harvard, where a similar keg ban went so poorly it was revoked. While finely-tuned b.s. detectors will start beeping wildly by the end of the first paragraph, by the fourth or fifth they’ll be going seismic.

Beginning with the argument that Harvard students should be more mature than their peers at other colleges (apparently daddy’s trust fund is a real character-builder), the writer comes to the conclusion that the Harvard administration is justifiably trying to get students more drunk and put them in more dangers so they’ll learn their lesson and not drink anymore. Let’s hope that gem shows up on the next admissions brochure, right below a picture of smiling students of every race getting kidney transplants. Here’s where that Ivy League brilliance really shines through, though (after the jump):

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