Last night, I dreamt that I encountered a fat, human-sized rat in Village A, where I live. I don’t remember the details of the dream, but I do know that rats scare the shit out of me. Every time I pass one, I halt, cringe, scream and then warn those behind me. They then look at me like I’m crazy. Maybe I’ve got rataphobia, the real scientific term for which I am too lazy to google.

Still, after dusk, squirrel territory turns into a rat’s haven. There are 2 rat hot spots: the pathway along Copley Hall (between Red Square and Healy) and the heart of Village A. At night, I avoid these hot spots. The rats are most active in the middle of Village A. If you walk near New South, the library, or on Prospect street, you’re probably OK. However, be careful on Prospect street, as I recently spotted a fox (yes, a fox, in a major city) roaming the street at 3 am.

Dude, why can’t we just have pigeons.

Posted by Keenan Steiner, Contributing Editor

In an overwhelming 356 to 71 vote yesterday, the House approved a bill to slash interest rates on federal student loans, a measure that could save students over $2,000 by the end of their loan. But don’t celebrate just yet. The bill won’t go into full effect until 2011, when it will expire unless renewed by Congress. The pricey legislation will also pose a challenge for the Democrats’ pay-as-you-go pledge.

Senator Edward Kennedy plans to consider the measure as a part of broader legislation to handle rising higher education costs. However, the Senate has not yet voted on the bill and President Bush vocally opposes it. The White House released a statement Tuesday warning that the bill would increase student borrowing: “encouraging more student debt can also fuel today’s upward tuition spiral.” Can’t fight that logic.

According to Democratic estimates, the plan could nearly double the $2,300 in savings for borrowers if the cut becomes perminant. Time, however, will tell.

The latest edition of the Voice is out, and here’s what’ll you find inside:

- Our intrepid Chris Norton takes on the Atlas District for this week’s cover, where nightlife impresario Joe Englert has a vision to turn a run-down Northeast neighborhood into the new Adams Morgan.

- Ricky Schramm, a senior forward and co-captain of Georgetown’s soccer team, has been drafted by the MLS. Kathryn Brand sees what’s on his mind.

- Why did protestors interrupt Georgetown’s MLK Jr. celebration? Kate Mays investigates.

- The University has joined with the Citizens Association of Georgetown to hire a former military sniper to patrol the neighborhood. Mike Bruns finds out that “[Snipers] are trained to watch.”

- P.S. Hepburn and Dan Cook review the new Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and Menomena albums. What, you don’t like indie rock?

- Defying all expectations, the Voice comes out against the President’s troop surge in Iraq.

Happy reading, folks. Don’t forget to tell us what you think at thevoice@georgetown.edu.

Posted by Tim Fernholz, Managing Editor

According to a highly placed source in the Vital Vittles administration, the top two selling items in the store are Solo cups and Dannon Light-N-Fit yogurt. Gee, Joe and Jane Hoya, way to really shatter those stereotypes.

Posted by Noreen Malone, Contributing Editor

Mommy want a martini in the middle afternoon? Safeway will soon be able to help that. According to employees at the store, the supermarket just got its liquor license approved. We couldn’t speak to their manager—he’s apparently out of town for the week—but we can certainly speculate about the possible implications of this. Perhaps now you’ll be able to find bread, baby food and booze all in the same aisle.

Posted by Clare Malone, Features Editor

They say D.C. is the Hollywood for ugly people, so if you’re sick of gazing at the pulchritude in US Weekly while you work out at Yates, try looking around the gym instead for some political heavyweights.

Adrian Fenty, for instance, has been a member of Yates for quite some time. Though his attendance has dropped off since the beginning of his mayoral campaign, he still occasionally shows up for an early morning swim, accompanied by an imposing-looking but friendly security detail. His crawl isn’t quite as smooth as his political maneuvering, unfortunately.
If the objects of your star-gazing lie along the other end of the political spectrum, then you might want to drop by the natatorium when the Hoyas have a home swim meet. Justice Samuel Alito often comes to cheer on his daughter Laura, a freshman standout butterflyer.

Keep looking–I’m sure there are more politicos sweating it out at Yates. Who knows, maybe you’ll see our own Madeline Albright bouncing along girlishly on the elliptical next to you, or perhaps spot George Tenet showing off one of his famous slam-dunks in a game of pick-up basketball.

Posted by Noreen Malone, Contributing Editor

Annexing a school district is nothing for new DC mayor Adrian Fenty, and he doesn’t have to tell anyone how much he blew on his inaugural ball. But has he been immortalized in an off-putting cartoon version of himself? Finally.

This particular bit of mayoral fan art is from his office’s children’s section. You can color Abe Lincoln’s beard, or rearrange a jumbled picture to reveal a prehistoric skull.

It’s more compelling, though, to think about the mayor. Why is his jacket pocket so small he can’t fit his cell phone inside? Why did his tailor use robin’s egg blue and light purple, both decidedly not power colors? Why is his nose an upside-down Ionic column?

Besides the mayor, my favorite part of the Kid’s Korner is George Washington and Abraham Lincoln playing tic-tac-toe. Historians debate which was the better president, but Washington always goes for the corners, and that’s enough for me.

Posted by Will Sommer

Georgetown hosts politicians all the time, but one category of speaker has been conspicously absent, namely, conservative masterminds. This Tuesday at 7, the College Republicans will be quenching our thirst for shadowy backroomers by presenting a lecture by Grover Norquist in White-Gravenor 311.

Norquist is famous for being the head of Americans for Tax Reform and making George W. Bush popular with Republicans. In short, he was Washington’s pudgy wunderkind long before Karl Rove realized direct mail wasn’t just for L.L. Bean.

Here are less pertinent but more interesting facts from this colorful character’s extensive Wikipedia entry.

• Along with Jack Abramoff, he was buddies with Angolan rebel and conflict diamonds dealer Jonas Savimbi.
• Tucker Carlson called him conservatism’s “leering, drunken uncle.”
• In 2001, he said he wanted to drown government in a bathtub.
• Even Thomas “It’s Cheaper Overseas” Friedman thinks he’s selfish!

White-Gravenor should be a blast.

 Posted by Will Sommer

When Jack DeGioia, Adrian Fenty, and John Thompson go to the Kennedy Center today, it won’t be for the free Brian McKnight concert. Together, they’ll present the first ladies of Zambia, Rwanda, and Ethiopia with the John Thompson Legacy of a Dream award for their work against HIV/AIDS. On a day so focused on freedom, though, it’s worth noting that an award that has previously gone to Rosa Parks and Colin Powell is being awarded to women who owe their positions to violence and exploitation. Read the rest of this entry »

Graffiti artists have taken over part of the men’s restroom on Lauinger’s fourth floor. It isn’t just “[Roommate's name] is dynamite in the sack” and a phone number, though. Instead, they pun with grout.

On the wall above the urinal a series of phrases have had words replaced with “grout,” including “Grout of Africa”, “Twist and grout”, “The Grout Gatsby”, and “Brokeback Groutain,” which doesn’t seem that clever.

The last entry violates what seems to be a rule of grout theory–it has to be funny. Alexander the Grout works, so does the Grout Depression, but Groutshington, D.C. doesn’t. Equally disappointing is the scrawled graffito “God saves.” Sure, it’s a Jesuit school, but why ruin the fun, anonymous proselytizer?

Graffiti isn’t new, and neither are puns. It’s compelling, though, to imagine the Georgetown students who not only take pens into the bathroom, but choke down urinal cake odor long enough to think of a joke and write it on the bricks.

Posted by Will Sommer