My infatuation with Mike Jones began in 2005 when “Who is Mike Jones?” was released. I was mesmerized by his self-promotion, narcissism (2-8-1-3-3-0-8-0-0-fo’, anyone?), generic beats, poor enunciation (those pesky grills) and unabashed reliance on the “they used to…now they…” formula for rhymes. Time passed, though, and like all good things my affair with Mike Jones came to an end.

A week ago, I was wandering through the music blogosphere [ed. note: a.k.a. surfing Destiny’s Child message boards] when I stumbled upon “Turning Headz,” Mike Jones’ new single. I don’t want to sound irrationally exuberant, so I’ll just say this: “Turning Headz” is the best hip-hop song of 2007, if not the best hip-hop song ever, for a few simple reasons.

1. Mike Jones’ name is the first thing you’ll hear. It just feels so right.
2. The hook sounds like it came straight from Linkin Park.
3. You can practically hear the lyrics smashing against the grill of whoever sings the chorus (”Every time I hit the corner I be turnin’ headz.”)
4. Mike Jones keeps up with technological trends. He still raps his cellphone number like in 2005, but also gives his fans another way to contact him: “Myspace/Mike Jones/Hit your boy up on the low.” Way to stay current.
5. I’ve always loved the “They used to…now they…” formula as epitomized by “Back then they didn’t want me, now I’m hot they all up on me.” He achieves the pinnacle of the art in “Turning Headz” when he raps “They used to laugh at my belly now they want to rub/on my belly every Sunday to get in my flub.”
6. After letting loose one of the freshest rhymes I’ve ever heard, Mike Jones seems to realize how good it is. So he repeats it: Mike Jones’ flub x2.

But don’t take my word for it. Listen for yourself (courtesy Zshare).

-Sam Sweeney, Senior Writer

Late but never out of date, it’s your weekly issue round-up.

- The feature sends Sam Sweeney and Clare Malone out to find Georgetown’s quirkiest professor’s—can you say “Beer me that Wordsworth?”

- Relentless reporters Juliana Brint and Crystal Chung continue to explore Metro’s party watchlist and new arrest policy; who knew it was unconstitutional? The ACLU.

- Phil Perry, the original man vs. wild, plunges into Georgetown’s weekly tail gate to hang out with an old lady. Hi-jinks ensue.

- “Our Moment” boardmembers make the case for giving students in the college a chance to get a certificate in international development.

- The Eds page still wants more transparency from the powers that be as they remake the alcohol policy, and they aren’t having any of Petraeus’ bullshit about the Iraq war.

- I’d like you to have some decent wine. Is that so bad?

- Tim Fernholz, Editor in Chief