Everyone is poor after college (during college, too)

You eat peanut butter because it’s cheap. You drink at home before going out to bars because drinks at home are cheaper. You’ll take any free furniture that’s offered, even if you know five people who had sex on it.

Did you think that penny-pinching would end after college? Putz.

In the most depressing read since I got my tuition bill, Joel Achenbach writes about, among other maudlin things, how he is going to have to borrow money from his young daughter to afford her older sister’s college tuition. It’s hyperbole, but geez, still. He also discusses his cripplingly depressive fear of appetizers:

One of the worst moments is when the waitress asks if you want to start out with an appetizer, and you say no, because over time you’ve become the kind of person who can’t afford appetizers. It’s a clear line in the sand, or, more precisely, a socioeconomic stratum, clearly delineated right there on the menu.

Later, Achenbach proves there’s a thin line between humor writing and a cry for help: “My own plan is to acknowledge that fate has chosen for me a path of decline and shabbiness.”

And this guy works at the Post! Maybe I should just face the inevitable and be a hobo.

4 Comments on “Everyone is poor after college (during college, too)

  1. Trick: Buy two appetizers, eat the free bread and call it a meal. Your waiter will hate you, but psst…..he’s poor just like you!

  2. How cheap are the appetizers where you go? The ones around me cost almost as much as a meal, so getting two isn’t going to do me much good..or maybe I just roll in such rarefied circles.

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