Automatic, systematic, hydromatic, and out of gas
The Post pulled their best Martin Short impression yesterday, masterfully disguising a ‘whose mommies and daddies pay for gas?’ street poll as news today. The article details the trials and tribulations of inane District teens who are “feeling the pinch” of high gas prices because they can’t stuff themselves at Chipotle or be grotesquely wasteful in other ways:
Aly Massey, 18, of McLean, a college-bound student whose parents pay for her gas, has been inspired to cut back more by environmental concern than financial necessity. “I used to like to drive around and think and listen to music, but I don’t do that anymore,” she said.
When was the last time people just drove around to think? American Graffiti?
Josue Flores is the only teen with a compelling story:
Flores, 19, said the price of gas leaves him wondering whether he will be able to stay enrolled in Montgomery College or have to move back to Honduras. In just two days, he points out, he paid $70 at the pump, largely to support his commute to a painting job in Bethesda. “You cannot even shop,” he said. “It’s hard to get the things you need.”
You’ll find his bit way down at the bottom of the article, about nineteen paragraphs under Ashleigh Krudys, who doesn’t feel like “a real teenager” because she can’t drive herself to the movies.
Tough break, Ashleigh. At least the Post thinks you’re a real teenager.