When a guy says he’s looking for someone “not tall or short,” you probably think he’ll be the one to dismiss his blind date as not up to par. Oddly, though, it’s the girl in this week’s Date Lab who ends up dismissing her date on looks alone. She starts off the post-date interview with the damning, “He’s not the kind of guy that I’m attracted to…I kind of made up my mind that it wasn’t going to go anywhere.” Sure, it’s not me, it’s you.

She takes everything he says the wrong way, and vice versa. She gives the date a 3 but sounds super bitchy about it, while he somehow manages to sound nice even while giving it a 1.

His parting comment? “I think the most off-putting thing was that she made up her mind from the beginning and didn’t even try to get to know me. I wish she had at least tried to make the best of the experience.”

The commenters all side with him, saying she shouldn’t have been so quick to write him off, but I have to disagree. Being led on is way worse than being shut down from the outset. Man up and rip the Band-Aid off.

Rating: 2. Actually being a part of this date was probably more awkward than reading about it, but not by much.

Chances of Success: 1. I mean, she’s 29. Standards have to drop eventually, so you never know.

Welcome to Friday Night, Saturday Morning, where every week Shira Hecht brings you a new song for your weekend. They won’t all be party songs (although this one is)–they could be songs for pregames, songs for hangovers, and songs for Sunday afternoons when you realize you didn’t accomplish anything this weekend.

The Similou - All This Love

This past week has been full of signs that summer is over: chilly winds, too-familiar faces, $400 dropped at the bookstore. Fall has arrived.

These few weeks always make me feel sort of bittersweet, and unaccountably nostalgic. As does this song, a Swedish one-hit wonder from a few years ago. The Swedes have somehow mastered the art of the heartbreaking pop song, and this one is a particularly catchy example. Bouncy keyboards with just the right amount of jangle, vague references to times spent and love lost, and a nice big singalong chorus. It makes me think of missed opportunities, sad endings, perfect days and fading memories. The end of something wonderful, bittersweet and incandescent.

If you want, you can dance to it.

The Madison Sounds of Deliverance play in Dupont Circle

Did you love Al Haddad’s article on jazz in DC in our most recent issue? Do you aspire to be just as booted and avoiding of clinkers? Al has generously offered to share his secrets:

1. Go to www.dcjazz.com and sign up for their weekly email newsletter. You would probably be horrified to discover how much my article owed to this single website.
2. Been to Adams Morgan? Good job. Now get down to U Street. For fans of live jazz and blues, U Street is to Adams Morgan as Bitches Brew is to Birth of the Cool. Just walk up and down a single block of U Street during the evening and you’re likely to come across three or four poorly-marked venues that are grooving right down to the foundations. You might have to sweet-talk some of the doormen, but believe me, it’s well worth the effort.
3. A lot of venues around DC have good websites: Wolf Trap, Blues Alley, Bohemian Caverns, Twins Jazz, HR57. Check these early and often.
4. Cheap is better, but free is best: The Kennedy Center’s Millennium Stage has free performances every Friday night. It’s not always jazz, but the acoustics are great and the musicians are always top quality. Check the Kennedy Center website for weekly details.
5. John Hasse, the Smithsonian’s brilliant and innovative Curator of American Music, has since 2001 conducted a weekly concert series, held each Friday night at 6.30pm at the Smithsonian Jazz Café, located on the ground floor of the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. After a summer hiatus, performances start up again Friday, September 6th. The Smithsonian also has an extensive jazz program, as well as some internships for the really zealous among you: check it out at www.smithsonianjazz.org.

Flickr photo from user JamesCalder used under a Creative Commons license

The Voice hopes your classes are off to a good start. But we know you’re not quite ready to face course reserves on Blackboard, and luckily we’ve got some way more interesting reading material for you.

• In our cover story, Will Sommer (aka the toughest boy on the paper) takes a close look at new DPS director Jeffrey Van Slyke’s career history, while the Ed Board urges Van Slyke to talk about his past.
• The Ed Board also gave Georgetown’s administration props for opening the LGBTQ resource center, but Molly Redden’s report on a bias-related incident proves there’s still work to be done.
• Forget Michigan-OSU. Anthony Francavilla tries to start something with talk of a potential Georgetown-Howard crosstown rivalry.
• In Voices, our resident Southerner Dylan Richmond takes you on a tour of his hometown since Hurricane Katrina, and in Leisure, Vivian Chen tells you which student theater productions to check out this fall.

Happy reading, and if you’re interested in writing, blogging, photographing, editing, web designing, or working on our business team, be sure to stop by our Open House on Friday at 5 in Leavey 413.

You don’t have to be as good as Will Shortz, but it helps

Former crossword editor Cal Lee is spending the semester in Ireland studying how to integrate Gaelic accent marks into his puzzles, so the Voice is looking for someone else who likes to make crosswords. If you’re interested, email thevoice at georgetown.edu.

Flickr photo from user mtkr used under a Creative Commons license

New Director of Public Safety Van Slyke has, and he liked it so much he bought ten for an earlier police department. Why not try one yourself:

This one time, in sixth grade, a boy asked me out on a dare at a middle school dance. Even at the time, my glittery-eye-shadowed gal pals reassured me on the bus ride home that his behavior was “so immature.” If it’s lame for a twelve-year-old to use his friends as a crutch for talking to girls, not to mention mean to ask someone out with no intention of actually dating them, then what should we make of this week’s Date Lab 20-somethings, who pull the same two stunts?

He signed up for DL under coworker-induced duress, while she says her application was “a birthday present” for a friend who wants her to meet someone. I’m sure your friends love you, but seriously, you being in a relationship is more of a gift to you than to them, I promise. It’s only shameful to hunt for dates through a national newspaper if you act embarassed about it, and these two totally do. That’s not what kills their budding romance, though: it’s the fact that she’s moving to Indiana in a week. They both have a fine enough time, but since this isn’t a Meg Ryan movie, her impending departure kills the relationship for good.

Rating: 3. The pair’s insecurity about signing up for DL makes the first half a boring read, and nothing spectacular happens on the date itself, either. But good on the Post for a quality gotcha! moment in the follow-up, which almost makes up for the (once again) spoiler headline.

Chances of Success: 0. Unless there’s some kind of Serendipity moment in their future, these two will never see or speak to one another again.

The Voice left their internships and childhood homes early this week to produce a pretty kickass paper. Here’s what we’ve cooked up:

• DC has some great neighborhoods, and they aren’t all named Georgetown. Check out what’s to see in Adams Morgan, Dupont Circle, and elsewhere in this week’s feature.
• The Ballad of Jeffrey Van Slyke continues, with a polite article about his plans and the real dirt.
• Who wins in Georgetown food rivalries?. Find out in returning food column Steak Out.
• It was a long summer, so Leisure found what was worth seeing/reading/listening to.
• Chelsea Paige travels to a Russian nuclear wasteland, while Ed Board travels to the nuclear wasteland that is DPS’s relationship with students

Check it out!

Going back to school can be a drag. If you’re 12, you might get a new pair of shoes and a backpack out of the deal, but for the rest of us there’s no escaping the reality of another nine months of continuous work, just to get a 9-to-5 someday.

It isn’t all gloom, though–Youtopia’s here to show you schools that have nothing to do with chalkboards and staying up late in Lauinger. Maybe it’s time to start using that tuition money for something more interesting.

Maybe.

Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Jack:

Next to a nun playing rhythm guitar with a full rock band, this is the most entertaining thing I’ve witnessed in a church.
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Here are the guns he bought for UT, according to this report from a public records request.

A shotgun, for when pro-choice students plan peaceful protests

I kid you not, Georgetown