Date Lab Rat: Don’t wanna be told to grow up

This one time, in sixth grade, a boy asked me out on a dare at a middle school dance. Even at the time, my glittery-eye-shadowed gal pals reassured me on the bus ride home that his behavior was “so immature.” If it’s lame for a twelve-year-old to use his friends as a crutch for talking to girls, not to mention mean to ask someone out with no intention of actually dating them, then what should we make of this week’s Date Lab 20-somethings, who pull the same two stunts?

He signed up for DL under coworker-induced duress, while she says her application was “a birthday present” for a friend who wants her to meet someone. I’m sure your friends love you, but seriously, you being in a relationship is more of a gift to you than to them, I promise. It’s only shameful to hunt for dates through a national newspaper if you act embarassed about it, and these two totally do. That’s not what kills their budding romance, though: it’s the fact that she’s moving to Indiana in a week. They both have a fine enough time, but since this isn’t a Meg Ryan movie, her impending departure kills the relationship for good.

Rating: 3. The pair’s insecurity about signing up for DL makes the first half a boring read, and nothing spectacular happens on the date itself, either. But good on the Post for a quality gotcha! moment in the follow-up, which almost makes up for the (once again) spoiler headline.

Chances of Success: 0. Unless there’s some kind of Serendipity moment in their future, these two will never see or speak to one another again.

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