Real World DC Power Rankings: Week Seven

1) Erika (previously #6)

After not having given us too much to talk about in previous episodes, Erika shows her true colors this week, and man, are they annoying. She spends almost the entire episode going at it with Ashley—whining when Ashley won’t leave her alone, crying when Ashley doesn’t want to be her friend anymore, and just being an overall attention hog.

Choice Quotation: “I asked her to get off the phone, how was that inappropriate? Inappropriate would be ‘can you get your vagina off the phone?’”

Moment of High Comedy: When trying to console Mike over his relationship problems, she turns it back into a conversation about herself.

2) Ashley (previously #2)

If these were the Pain in the Ass Rankings rather than the Power Rankings, Ashley would be neck-and-neck with Erika for number one. She calls Erika a spoiled brat, and when Erika flips out and calls her a bitch in return, she starts babbling insults that really only prove Erika’s point.

Choice Quotation: “If you want to stay out here until midnight-thirty, I’ll stay here with you.”

Moment of High Comedy: When the crew goes out to McFadden’s towards the end of the episode, she crimps her hair.

3)  Mike (previously #1)

Mike’s relationship with super-cute Eric deepens this week, as the two start to hang out together more and go on their “first date.” (I guess going home from a bar with someone isn’t actually considered a date). But when Eric starts to have issues with Mike’s supposed bisexuality, Mike goes all commitment-phobe and almost ends the whole thing. But don’t get too upset: the two decide to get back together towards the episode’s end.

Choice Quotation: After a lengthy conversation about coming out and his personal sexual identity: “Let’s talk about how awesome the Giants are.”

Moment of High Comedy: He seeks relationship advise from Erika, and after she turns the entire conversation around to focus on herself, he tells her she should have her own talk show.

4) Andrew (previously #4)

Having already demonstrated that he’s overcompensating, insensitive, and straightjacket-worthy, Andrew shows us a different side of his shining personality this week: he’s a complete slob. The episode starts out with ants crawling all over a plate of days-old pizza crust he left in the living room, and from there only delves deeper into this gruesome aspect of his living habits.

Choice Quotation: “Everybody’s got different views of what’s dirty and what’s clean—it’s a state of mind.”

Moment of High Comedy: He tries to clean the microwave, but makes as much noise as humanly possible and has very little success.

5) Emily (previously tied for #7)

Emily gets caught in the middle of the whole Erika/Ashley firestorm this week, and doesn’t make things easier for herself when she tries to play both sides. For the second week in a row, she’s stuck begging some overdramatic female roommate not to leave the show, and then (unsuccessfully) trying to reconcile a dispute between some housemate and Ashley.

Choice Quotation: Before the housemates go on a pointless trip to a laser-tag arena, she oh-so-sensitively muses, “I just got the best teammate ever, because Erika wants to kill Ashley.”

6) Ty (previously #5)

Once again this week, Ty proves that he sucks at trying to mediate arguments. Poor guy just wants someone to think “oh wow, look at the nice, sensitive, muscular guy friend who’s trying to help out his roommates.” But he continues to just awkwardly stand near the disputants, offering advice that other people just pretend not to hear.

Choice Quotation: “Let’s all do what Erika wants to do today.”

Moment of High Comedy: When Erika and Emily start to argue at the lunch table, he starts waving his arm up and down between them in a chopping motion. I think even he didn’t understood why.

7) Callie (previously #3)

Callie also took a backseat to the Erika vs. Ashley fight to the death this week, but she stood strongly in Erika’s corner for the whole match. When Ashley decides to go out before Erika does because Erika’s not ready at the exact second Ashley wants to leave, Callie stays back with her. Cause isn’t that what Real World friends are for?

Choice Quotation: “The thought of you going home makes me sick to my stomach because I need you here.” Glad Erika has such a healthy support system.

Moment of High Comedy: Her laser tag team is called the Terrible Pterodactyls, and she writes her team’s initials on her cheeks as “T.T.” Someone sets her straight before they leave the house, but not before the all-important camera crew catches them.

8 ) Josh (previously tied for #7)

If filming were still going on, I’d start a petition for MTV to kick Josh off the show. Isn’t the deal that you trade rent in the house for some marketable moments of dysfunctional comedy? Seriously, the only time there was a shot just on him this week was when he was ironing. Not saying he’s normal, but this guy is far too boring to be on reality TV.

2 Comments on “Real World DC Power Rankings: Week Seven

  1. Actually, Callie’s team name was Terrible Pteradactyls. Quadruple Penetration 400 was Ty, Ashley, Josh, and Andrew.

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