“Lay off George Washington, commenters. He’s just worried about the direction this country is going and, like any God-fearing, country-loving American citizen/founding father, is JUST ASKING QUESTIONS. Like, is it a coincidence that Monday President’s Day classes were REinstituted just days before the Winter Olympics kicked off IN CANADA? Why can Jim O’Donnell’s name be rearranged to form the words “NO MIND JELLO”?! WHO IS KING GEORGETOWN?!!?? WHY AM I YELLING?! WHY AM I CRYING?!!!?”
“Nooo!! The neighbors can take my right to urinate publicly, my right to drink on a stoop without fear of their police goons who should be solving real crimes, my right but not my right to RAAANCH!”
“One: No, we didn’t superimpose ourselves anywhere. We really did shoot out in all those places. But I’m sure Justin Keenan Miller who did our shooting and editing would be awestruck that he gets so much credit. He’s an awesome editor, but that would be ridiculous.
“Two: Yeah, I know I can’t dance. A guy can try. Sorry for partying.
“Mad love for controversial vox comments,
“The only thing offensive about my friend Chris’s comment is the dangling preposition. He is one of the most genuine people I’ve ever known; I sincerely hope that any who might be making allegations against him realize how bad they are making themselves look by comparison.”
“Yeah, why challenge an incumbency? That’s not what democracy is for. Viva la status quo.”
“Outline, specifically, your plans to respectfully honor and pay daily tribute to the true authority on this campus, i.e the King of Georgetown.”