The majority of the episode was devoted to Erika’s long, overdramatic, and incredibly irritating struggle over whether or not to stay in the house, but I wouldn’t have given her the top spot if it weren’t for her actual decision: in the end, she left! The housemates were openly happy about it (they claimed it was best for her, but they were pretty obviously getting sick of her), and the viewers were thrilled. I just feel bad for her poor boyfriend.
Choice Quotation: “D.C. is not the place to start a music career!” She uses this as reason for her to go back to Cleveland?
Moment of High Comedy: Her never-ending chain of complaints and drama is seemingly instigated by a night out at a bar, when she complains about how she has to pee and doesn’t want to wait in lines.
2) Andrew (previously #1)
Given all the horniness, the panda hats, and the completely ridiculous entertainment that Andrew has provided over the past twelve episodes, it’s no wonder we forgot about his offhanded comment in the first episode about wanting to be a cartoonist. He pursues that goal this week, and despite some initial rejection winds up with a published cartoon in the Washington Times. Plus, he gets a trip to the White House out of it, for which he unfortunately leaves the panda hat at home.
Choice Quotation: “Pressure doesn’t really motivate me. Sex motivates me. Candy, treats, these are motivational things. But yelling and mean words just make Andrew sad.”
Moment of High Comedy: When he gets a call from his boss at the Post, reminding him that his deadline was yesterday, he makes up a lie about the scanner not working and whips together a (surprisingly good) cartoon in record time.
3) Callie (previously #5)
Poor Callie. As if it’s not bad enough that she’s Erika’s “best friend” in the house, and masochistically spends all her time trying to convince her needy and irritating friend to stay, this week Erika attempts to set Callie up with her boyfriend’s friend, Evan. But when the short, lip-ringed pseudo-rocker dude doesn’t turn out to be southern Callie’s particular bowl of grits, Erika flips out on her for being “standoffish.”
Choice Quotation: “There’s just no spark!” Hey wait a minute, isn’t that Date Lab Georgetown’s line?
Moment of High Comedy: When Erika’s boyfriend and Evan show up at the house, Callie greets them in a towel. Again.
4) Mike (previously #6)
Once again, Mike didn’t get too much face time this week. But when he found out that slightly-insane Andrew was getting to go to the White House instead of him, he showed a self-centered frustration we’ve never seen from him before. I think he’s confused as to why he didn’t get a personal invitation from Obama. Everyone knows the leader of the free world has nothing better to do than watch The Real World.
Choice Quotation: “I’m very happy for you, but I want to punch you.”
Moment of High Comedy: When Erika won’t shut up about how terrible her life is, he tells her to take her whiny ass to the Holocaust Museum.
5) Ashley (previously #4)
I know I’ve been hard on Ashley before, but I have to give her props this week. She was the only one who told Erika to her face that she should stop changing her mind and either leave the house or stay. (Also, she pretty blatantly wished she’d leave. More bonus points.)
Choice Quotation: “You were challenged here, and it’s like a work in prog—should I just not? Okay.”
Moment of High Comedy: When Erika interrupts a hot tub party to announce that she’s yet again changed her mind about leaving, Ashley says she’s “tired of this shit” and leaves. You go, Ash.
6) Emily (previously #3)
Emily spends a lot of time complaining about Erika, but unfortunately, never to her face like Ashley does. She does claim that she’s “close” to her now-former roommate, but doesn’t seem too sad when she leaves. Ah, the lifelong friendships forged on reality television.
Choice Quotation: “She’s just such a Debbie Downer some days!”
Moment of High Comedy: After they get sick of the other girl’s whining, she, Ashley, and Callie go outside and splash in puddles.
7) Ty (previously #8)
Once again, Ty is pretty useless this week. He asks what everyone thinks of Erika’s visitors, but aside from that just keeps a low profile. Maybe he’ll fare better now that the most attention-starved one is gone.
Choice Quotation: Sarcastically, referring to Evan: “Oh, I love rocker guys with their tight jeans and their stupid faces!”
8) Josh (previously #7)
Again, basically absent. Again, no complaints here. Even having to see him in background shots still irritates me.