Comments of the Week: What’s your Plan B?

Jacob did not sympathize with this weekend’s Plan A protesters:

“‘Georgetown Silenced Me!’ says loud obnoxious protester in public space.”

I too will be launching a campaign to bring condoms to this campus, but condoms that fit over your ears. Georgetown students shouldn’t go unprotected from the aural disease Plan-A is spreading.

Chad Kroeger made another guest spot to suggest strategies for Plan A:

“Since I am the frontman of a multiple Juno Award winning Canadian grocery store rock band, I feel compelled to let people know about my opinion. Now in Canada, the government puts birth control in the water supply and mandates that all day cares have a supply of condoms available, so we don’t really have this problem. That being said, I do believe I have some useful advice for the Plan A Hoyas:

1. Stop alienating students with your actions which get their attention. Instead, hold a Nickelback concert in Red Square. Who can argue with that? Once you have Degoia bumping and grinding with Spiros to the smooth sounds of hit songs like Photograph, Rock Star, and If Today Was Your Last Day, they’ll do anything you ask.

2. Distribute maple syrup flavored condoms. Trust me.

3. Call me up sometime and we can talk about my abs or hair bleaching styles or Olympic curling or just anything you want really. If I’m not at a concert entertaining thousands of fans that don’t throw bottles at me, I’ll answer. Please, just call. We can put Todd Olson on conference call if you want, I usually call him before I go to bed. Just somebody call. Please…

With the utmost sincerity,

Chad”

@Georgetown cuddler shot back at the student masquerading as a sexual assailant in the comments sections of our Spring Fashion photo post:

“You’re a disgusting douchebag. The Georgetown Cuddler is a sick person who sexually assaults YOUR FELLOW HOYAS. Imagine if a stranger got into bed with one of your girlfriends and touched her. Or you.
Vox, you should publish this asshole’s email address so I can find him and beat him with my keys.”

Asuka wasn’t too worried about the student whom DPS officers allegedly verbally harassed when they arrested him:

“Words can hurt! That’s what I learned from this after school special I once saw. These kids were picking on this other kid and calling him names, and it made him cry! All the name-calling drove him into a deep depression that ended in a crippling drug dependency. By junior high, he was on the street, hustling for bathtub meth. All because of rough language. The more you know, DPS – think about it!”

Nero mocked Georgetown students whose feathers were ruffled by Monday’s University-funded pro-choice panel:

“HA! Where’s your messiah now, Catholics?!”

Yawn thought Plan A has something Freudian going on:

“Coming Out Week followed by Condom Theatre followed by Choice Week followed by Plan A… Isn’t anyone else sick of Hoyas acting like the sole reason they’re here is to obsess over genitalia? I mean, really, it must get old after a while. Find a new hobby. Maybe read a book or two.”

And sen10or couldn’t believe that another burglary occurred in which the burglar got in through an unlocked door:

“Can someone who does NOT lock their door explain to me why you choose not to lock?”

G-town explained,

“I choose not to lock my door because I don’t like to forget if i did or did not . I just rather not do it at all”

6 Comments on “Comments of the Week: What’s your Plan B?

  1. Chad Kroeger is nothing short of brilliance.

  2. I suspect you mean “nothing short of brilliant.” I hope you aren’t an English major.

  3. How misinformed of “Yawn” to think Coming Out Week and Choice Week are both about obsessing over genitalia. WTF.

  4. Simon says: “Acknowledge my vastly superior knowledge of the English language and make me an editor for The Voice”

  5. “Chad Kroeger is nothing short of brilliance” is grammatically correct. Sure, “brilliant” is more commonly used in these circumstances than “brilliance”, but that doesn’t make it the only acceptable word to use there.

  6. No, Simon, I really did mean brilliance; he is brilliance himself. I hope you’re not an English major either.

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