Saturday, April 10, McDonough Gymnasium ($15—$30), doors at 9 p.m.
If you haven’t been through Red Square this afternoon, consider yourself lucky. GPB kids were out in droves, handing out fliers and talking up this Saturday’s Spring kick-off concert. Who cares if Third Eye Blind, Super Mash Bros., and Joshua James are the most ill-fitting, unlikely trio of artists to grace McDonough—at least it won’t be Coolio.
U.S. Air Guitar Championships — D.C. Regional
Saturday, April 10, 930 Club ($20), doors at 8 p.m.
Yes, air guitar. You know, the way people used to pretend to be rock stars before Guitar Hero came out. Don’t knock it until you try it—last year’s D.C. regional led to an air-off between eventual co-champions Sanjar the Destroyer and The Shred. But who will emerge as D.C.’s greatest faux-ax legend this time around?
Nickelback w. Breaking Benjamin and Shinedown
Tuesday, April 13, Verizon Center ($42.50—$77.50), doors at 6:30 p.m.
I’ll let Vox commenter Chad Kroeger handle this one:
As the front man of a Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Award nominated and Canadian Kidz-Bop-appropriate rock band, I feel I have the responsibility to strongly urge all Georgetown students to attend this leg of the Dark Horse Tour. I realize that April is busy for Georgetown students—you’ve got papers and you’ll probably still be recovering from the irrelevancy of Third Eye Blind—but I can personally guarantee you that this show will change your life.
I mean, if seeing me belt out “What if Today was Your Last Day” doesn’t cause you to reconsider every choice you’ve made in your life, then you really have no hope. And I can’t forget about the scathing cultural criticism of a song like “Rock Star.” I heard you Georgetown kids like scathing cultural criticism, so be sure to come out. Then there’s the timeless “Photograph,” which has literally caused fans to cry blood when they saw it live. (We even have a slideshow of old photographs behind us when we play it!)
Plus, if you’re looking for a more melodramatic brand of mediocrity, look no further my opening acts, Breaking Benjamin and Shinedown. Have you heard “45?” It’s the song I would have written had I grown up on the mean streets of Jacksonville, Florida. I’m Canadian, though, so we know not such misery. Anyways, I need to wrap up so I’ll just conclude with a solemn promise I will make to the Georgetown community: At one point in the show, I will take off my shirt. Now that’s a situation!
With a sincere invitation to rock out and change your life,
Beatallica w. Borracho
Monday, April 19, Black Cat Backstage ($10), doors at 9 p.m.
Beatallica, as its name suggests, is a Beatles cover band with a flair for the soothing heavy-metal sounds of James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, and Kirk Hammett. The concert will be better than St. Anger and absolutely better than anything Yoko Ono touches, but I think I’ll hold off on cover band mash-ups until some courageous musician forms The Rolling N.W.A.