Comments of the Week: Return of the trolls

Jonathan” felt conflicted about our “Worst Idea” feature:

So, this series is great, but it’s depressing me. What with the party policy and the loss of what sounds like the most kick-ass radio station to have at your University, it seems like the most badass days of GU are behind her and I’ve showed up for the quiet and boring times on campus (as a sophomore).

Seriously?” ruined our nerd credibility:

Transformers take over machinery. Not marble. Hence the idea that the cube turns every vending machine and cell phone into a robot, yet somehow sidewalks aren’t suddenly becoming Decepticons. Don’t be silly.

Jacob” had some advice for the Class of 2014:

Dear Prefrosh,

The quickest way to get everyone to hate you is to hold up the line at Wiseys because you don’t know what you want. Scout out the menu before the rush.

Eh” prepared us for future shenanigans from on-campus activist groups:

It’s not even Fall yet, and we already have another manufactured outrage brewing by the campus leftists. Great work, guys!

But “SFS Kid” thinks that “Eh” spoke too soon:

Oh shit, let me go call off the die-in/protest/letter-writing campaign/phone drive I was single-handedly planning. I’ll also cancel that phone call I just made to Hugo Chavez. Wasn’t aware that voicing my informed opinion in a public forum gave away my trouble-making, leftist ways.

Chad Kroeger,” the once and future king of Vox commenters, has returned from sabbatical:

Perhaps I should take this opportunity to explain my recent absence from the blog. I realize not many people actually care about this Chris Heller’s travel plans and it’s ridiculous that his laziness gets a whole post and I am confined to the comment section, but as the Quebeckers say: “Say law vee.” Now, some of you might be thinking that because of “The Chad’s” undying loyalty to his fans, I have been extensively touring the world so that everyone’s life can be changed by hearing “What if Today Was Your Last Day” straight from the Canadian slightly edgier than Creed and Switchfoot rocker’s mouth rather than at the Lady Foot Locker. Or perhaps you’re familiar with my retreats to my maple tree farm in rural Ontario so that I can contemplate the mysteries of life and create the life giving liquid known as maple syrup. No, not even those activities would block my intellectual furor which keeps me coming back to Georgetown. The only thing that could keep me away for so long is a friend in need. I don’t know if Vox or its readers are aware of the recent troubles of my friend Tiger Woods, but I won’t add any wood to the rumor fire (incidentally one of our hit singles from our new CD is titled Burn it to the Ground). Suffice to say, Tiger has not been himself lately and I courageously came to his side as only a true friend and dashing rockstar could. So I’ve been traveling with Tiger, teaching Tiger, learning from Tiger, massaging Tiger, ordering for Tiger when he’s in the restroom and the waiter has come, writing songs with and for Tiger (My hit song This Afternoon is based upon these soul-affirming interactions), and even hitting the links with Tiger. Tiger is doing better, but his recent performances show he still needs me. I will try not to neglect you Vox readers for I know that there must have been at least a few MacBook Pros destroyed out of frustration at my prolonged absence. I realize that I cannot give my wisdom and suddenly take it away without there being dire consequences. Rest assured Vox, I will be back. But right now, Tiger needs me. And I hope all of you know how important that is. Remember, you always have your complete library of Nickelback CD’s and cassettes to comfort you in these dark times.

Yours,

Chad

KING OF GEORGETOWN” is back too? Oh, happy day!

CUT THE BLOG IN HALF. IT IS THE ONLY WAY…

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