If the producers of C-SPAN and the Real Housewives franchise created a reality show about local politics, Advisory Neighborhood Commission 2E would be the pitch. Monday’s episode featured Metropolitan Police Department Lt. John Hedgecock flattering fake ID craftsmen and a spirited defense of the Nation’s Triathalon. Of course, drunken students and Philly P’s also made appearances.
I wanted to look up crime statistics, but my laptop was stolen
Crime is down 10 percent from last year, according to Hedgecock. (And yes, that includes the recent thefts on and off campus.) Although there have been six more street robberies, the number of burglaries has decreased.
Lame-duck Commissioner Aaron Golds (COL ’11) asked Hedgecock about the recent crime wave around campus, specifically mentioning last week’s attempted abduction of a student. Hedgecock’s response referenced similar crime waves at American University and Catholic University.
“We are examining them to see if there is any link,” he said.
An audience member also asked Hedgecock about police action against drunkenness and public disorderliness. Inconsistent enforcement, Hedgecock said, makes it difficult to crack down on certain problems, such as under-age drinking.
“These fake IDs, they are really good,” Hedgecock said.
The resurrection of a neutered Philly P’s
The martyred pizza shop has already agreed to cease being a pizza shop, instead serving prepared foods under the name Go Fresh. But, some are still unhappy. A number of audience members complained about the process the D.C. Zoning Administration used to grant the joint a certificate of occupancy last October.
“This process was totally bizarre,” Lynn Shubert, a resident who lives near Go Fresh, said.
Some complaints also involved the size of the restaurant’s oven, which some alleged to be larger than zoning laws allow. The commission resolved to appeal Go Fresh’s certificate of occupancy, with Commissioners Charles Eason and Golds casting nay votes.
Running a sham (as well as biking and swimming it)
After vowing last month to limit the number of races that close Georgetown’s streets, the ANC faced a new race proposal from the Nation’s Triathlon.
Nation’s Triathlon CEO Charles Brodsky attempted to impress the commissioners, but he was unable to produce statistics on how much of the money went to charitable causes as opposed to profit. The meeting’s civil atmosphere quickly disappeared behind a hyena-like tumult in which the Commissioner Tom Birch accused the Triathalon of being a sham and Commissioner Bill Skelsey announced he would no longer line Brodsky’s pockets.
Ultimately, the ANC did suggested that Brodsky return next month with statistics about race revenues. How anticlimactic.