Gofresh, you’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’

If you haven’t heard, the former Philly Pizza & Grill reopened about a month ago as Gofresh, “Where healthy meals meets delicious taste.”

Yesterday, Vox decided to go see what the new restaurant was like. I am sorry I did.

From the sidewalk, one can still read “Philly Pizza & Grill” under the black paint covering the awning. A sign reading “QUIET!!” and “NO LOITERING” hangs next to the door. The interior looks the same, but the counter is farther back to provide more seating. Alas, the restaurant was empty.

According to the cashier at Gofresh, their baked potatoes are their most popular item. He recommended the “spinach artichoke,” pictured here wrapped in tinfoil and buried under creamed spinach, some cucumbers, and feta cheese. It was glommy. I did not ask for ranch dressing.

During my twenty minute stay, only one other customer entered. He requested curbside service since he was parked illegally. I ate my spud in silence. No music is played in the restaurant. It was really weird.

The new menu includes salads, sandwiches, paninis, smoothies, the best spinach artichoke potatoes this side of the Atlantic Ocean, and a curious selection of wraps with names like  “Liftetime” (steak) and “Awesome” (ham and salami). The cashier informed me they will soon be featuring cups of corn that customers can pick toppings for and eat as a salad. These are apparently big in Europe. Pizza is not on the menu due to the DCRA’s Final Consent Order, which allowed the business to reopen.

This is all that remains of our dear old pizza dive.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

We weep for the loss of Philly P’s crust.

Photo: Nico Dodd

6 Comments on “Gofresh, you’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’

  1. “The cashier informed me they will soon be featuring cups of corn that customers can pick toppings for and eat as a salad. These are apparently big in Europe.”

    Where exactly in Europe?

  2. Do you realize that Gofresh is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face?

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