What sucks: These are the jokes, people?
Vox returned to Tombs trivia for a third time this week to see if Hoyas were still yukking it up with cheap jokes about horrible things that happen to other Hoyas. We were not disappointed … which is to say we were deeply disappointed. Who “won” this round?
First place (The “whiny little bloggers” memorial trophy): It’s not rape if you say, “Surprise!” Surprise! Week after week, Hoyas who can’t come up with clever team names decide to make fun of rape instead.
But we’ll be the first to admit that last night, team names were on the whole more hilarious than nasty. So after the jump, find out which team won the inaugural “Four years later and we’re still drinking in a basement” medal of honor:
Number of naked laps I did before SNAP caught me. Some images we find hilarious, some we don’t. A man yelling “surprise!” and then raping someone? Not really. A nude Hoya bounding down the streets of Burleith as Lenore Rubino screams into the phone at SNAP and a SNAP car follows our runner, a hapless Cory Peterson pleading with him to get back inside all the while? Yes.
So, why does Vox find these team names titter-worthy, and not the others? For us, it’s a matter of cerebral function and punchline. We like the vice president falling asleep during the president’s speech, SNAP’s Sisyphean task, and Jon Kyl’s being Jon Kyl as punchlines. And “Other than that Mrs. Kennedy…” has some real theory of mind shit going on.
Our winners? Their punchlines are just rape, Japan, and girl punching. No one’s brain is hurting from thinking up those. Only fellow Hoyas get hurt.