Georgetown grad gets life advice via Tumblr

On 1001 Rules for My Unborn Son, writer and TV producer Walker Lamond writes tidbits of clever insight and usually-lighthearted quotations to advise his future progeny (or current progeny—the author now has a small child).

And since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and the Internet is big enough for as many similarly-minded Tumblr pages as its users feel compelled to create, one apparent fan of this quirky advice page decided to put a slight twist on the idea, and offer advice to his younger brother, a recent Georgetown grad. The result is the markedly un-cleverly titled new blog, Rules for My Younger Brother.

The page’s subheadline reads “Here’s [sic] all the rules I wish an older brother told me,” and underneath it Big Bro pffers up a bunch of guidelines. They range from the archaically insightful (“Praise your opponent”) to the vaguely condescending (“Pick up hired help”), and some could even be taken as a little offensive.

Vox‘s personal favorite? Big Brother’s post-college reading list, which includes A Heartbreaking Work of Unbearable Genius. Whoops.

7 Comments on “Georgetown grad gets life advice via Tumblr

  1. To all college-age women, if it is the middle of the day and you are on a plane, train or bus, in a Starbucks, at Church or a formal engagement, and if you don’t have any problems whatsoever, are honest about your obvious desires for marriage and children, and you see an older man wearing Brooks Brothers making a beeline for you… you’ve just met Prince Charming. Prepare to be a “down-a$$-bitch.”

    Rule 30: “Respect women.”
    Rule 90: “There are only 3 things in life you need when you rich: real homies, big guns and a down-a$$-bitch.”
    Rule 92: “The best thing about college girls is you keep getting older and they stay the same age.”
    Rule 123: “Most girls want to get married and have children.”
    Rule 152: “Pick-up chicks midweek in midday random spots.”
    Rule 199: “The easiest place to pick up chicks are also good places to be. In order of pick up easy #1 Church, #2 formal engagements (Charity events, weddings, etc), #3 Starbucks.”
    Rule 211: “Take her out for drinks. You can bail if it’s bad or nail after the third tequila shot.”
    Rule 251: “Don’t wife problems.”
    Rule 252: “Think like a women [sic] act like a man.”
    Rule 322: “Planes, trains, and buses are great ways to pick up good looking girls. If the seating is not assigned, prior to departure determine the prettiest single girl in the line. Do whatever it takes to sit next to her. You’re doing her a favor.”

  2. My obvious desires for marriage and children are trumped only by my obvious desire to never have either with a man who wears Brooks Brothers.

  3. Eh, I don’t think they’re all bad. Some of his points, while maybe not the most original, are pretty good.

    Also, I know the Georgetown grad in reference here, and (Brooks Brother shirt notwithstanding), he’s a really nice guy.

  4. wait… so leigh all you commenters (besides 2011 grad) have nothing better to do than read and be offended by an advice blog made for someone that you don’t even know?

    And do none of you have older brothers? Are you not aware that somewhat douchy (and often tongue-in-cheek) advice is pretty much a hallmark of a brotherly relationship?

    I also know this dude as a very good friend and he’s def a nice guy as 2011 grad says. It’s actually kind of weird and creepy for you all to be reading this blog which was clearly not meant for any eyes but his. Not like its super confidential and private, but if you’re looking for things to entertain you on the internet, I assure you there are better options. Try rule 34 for starters.

  5. Shorter version of what you said: “HEY GUYS, STOP BEING SO MEAN TO MY FRIEND! YOU GUYS ARE JERKS!”

    Also, the idea that he made a tumblr that was “clearly not meant for any eyes but his” literally made me laugh at loud. Your naivete is adorable.

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