Comments of the Week: Winter is coming

A laptop was reported stolen from a New South dorm room last Thursday. PSA questions the brainpower of the laptop’s hapless owner:

As much as I’d like to think that GU students are reasonably intelligent, it sure seems to me that there should be a required course for all incoming frosh on “lock your door.” I mean, really, it would be one thing if somebody knocked you to the ground and stole your laptop in Red Square. To go to sleep with the door unlocked suggests a high degree of stupidity. Maybe the PSA’s should identify the home-town of the victim. They must all be from Kansas or whatever. Or perhaps inclined to imbibe.

Last Monday, Vox wrote about University donor and Saudi Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Bin Abdulaziz Alsaud‘s reported employment of dwarfs as “jesters.”

Taking a break from always paying his debts, Tyrion Lannister shared some advice with Alwaleed:

Let them see that their words can cut you and you’ll never be free of the mockery. If they want to give you a name take it make it your own. Then they can’t hurt you with it anymore.

Meanwhile, Reda has us figured out:

Financial erudition and god blessing
That is what Al Waleed is
Rest is just litterature that is enviois and jealous about his success!!

Best comment of the new year after the jump…

Office of the President delivered one of the most comprehensive snarks in Vox commentariat history:

Dear campus community,

I was saddened and troubled today upon reading allegations that Alwaleed Bin Talal Bin Abdulaziz Alsaud (BAM. SPELLING KING.) employs dwarfs to belittle and abuse for his enjoyment. I would like to stress that Georgetown University does not condone the belittling nor abuse of dwarfs, having ended its own Annual Healy Lawn Dwarf-Throwing Contest and Kegger in 2008 after several bias-related incidences against dwarfs.

As the more senior members of our student body and our faculty may remember, the incidences led me to establish several working groups geared toward making our community a more welcoming place for diverse students of all backgrounds. They made several compelling and enlightening recommendations for our campus community. But they only printed out one copy and then one day at lunch I spilled reheated chili all over my desk. I had to throw everything out and that’s why we have yet to implement any of the changes I did not commit to memory. Something about a class recommendation. But don’t worry, bits and pieces come back to me every time I smell cumin.

Please rest assured that Georgetown is doing everything in its power to assess the accuracy of the rumors about Alwaleed Bin Talal Bin Abdulaziz Alsaud (DOUBLE SPELLING KING). As we move forward with the process of investigating these claims, please keep in mind that Alwaleed has a lot of money — like, a loooot of money — and that, as such, these rumors are probably untrue.

Hoya Saxa,
Jack DeGioia
President, Georgetown University
KING, SPELLING

One Comment on “Comments of the Week: Winter is coming

  1.  by  Anonymous

    Even better the New South doors lock automatically. So this freshman had to consciously try and keep her door unlocked

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