Twuesday Tweetacular: Instagram takes a millisecond-long break

Unfortunately, few had the opportunity to confirm Logan Dobson‘s observation. Service to Instagram was quickly restored, plunging the world once again into a faded yellow haze.

After much deliberation, we concluded, Alex Smith, that sitting in a dentist’s chair in the front row of a live Nickelback concert would be far worse.

Assuming our tech department ran the calculations correctly, we provide this explanation to Krystle Corpuz: as the Earth becomes smaller as a result of social media, its mass remains the same. This process results in an implosion effect similar to that of a black hole. As the Earth’s density increases and the planet collapses in on itself, its gravity pulls in and distorts everything, including time. Only this effect would reduce generation gaps to the point of allowing an adult to use the term “YOLO.”

Nate Lubick seems to have forgotten that celebrities are people, too. They should not be held to a higher standard. After all, with the millions of dollars they spend on attempting to look younger, why should we allow them to use an application that makes their photos seem older?

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