Fortunately, Voice Assistant News Editor Julia Jester‘s fears could easily be put to rest. The torrential rain that caused the SAC Fair to be moved inside would quickly have extinguished any would-be fires.

Evan Sterrett is rather lucky; given the current state of facilities, he could easily have been trapped in the same vomit-filled elevator for 2 hours or more.

Tucker Cholvin makes the astute observation that attracting hipsters to campus organizations requires obsolete technology that is only used ironically. But even hipsters abandoned VCRs shortly after the rest of society.

Luckily, Nate Tisa‘s low point isn’t quite traumatic. At least he wasn’t chased into Lau or Darnall.

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