Megan Schmidt echoes Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s deepest unspoken desire: to one day have as many Twitter followers as Justin Bieber.

PIZZA @ LEO’S asks the Secretary of State to endorse Leo’s pizza. Perhaps we can expect an editorial from PIZZA@LEOS on why its voting for Obama. Or maybe this account is just a viral marketing campaign started by Aramark, which explains its lack of effectiveness.

The Punctuation Department of the Voice copy editing staff has, after careful analysis, determined that Alex Podkul‘s extensive and inconsistent ellipses use indicates a clear attempt to cover up the truth.

What Tucker Cholvin assumes to be an original joke is actually a true story. Romney used this line when asking out his future wife Ann Davies during his senior year at Cranbrook School.

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