Hurricane Sandy is already forcing students like Lizzy Lafranchise to settle for questionable forms of entertainment, like shopping at Pottery Barn. It won’t be long before the Georgetown community devolves into a state of nature.

Bisi O‘s deal with nature succeeded, resulting in cancelled Monday classes. Overjoyed students were soon rewarded with yet another day off. And so, the vicious self-reinforcing cycle of procrastination continues.

Halt all safety crews, repairmen, and cleanup teams; until Mike‘s copy of “Assassin’s Creed 3″ arrives, all other concerns, including but not limited to downed power lines, fallen trees, and passed out students, are secondary.

Based on Vox‘s extensive tests, only three of the penguins Voice Assistant Leisure Editor Julia Lloyd-George saw were Halloween costumes. The last penguin was a hallucination resulting from midterm-related fatigue.

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