Like Vox, Brett thinks of every possible excuse to not take an exam. Imagine the email: “Professor, I couldn’t study because someone stole my books in the library!” It’d work about as well as “My dog ate my research paper.”

Allie Prescott failed to understand how romantic that XXL Steak Nacho truly was.

Vox has a special double tweetacular this week with many more tweets after the jump!

Nicole Jarvis isn’t the only person to see burritos in non-burrito objects. Sometimes, in caffeine-induced deliriums, Vox asks Mug baristas for mushroom-cheddar-cheese omlettes and asks Leo’s workers for low-fat skim lattes.

When Mike enters his first final, he’ll collapse and shout, “Go on without me!” and proceed to enter a 24-hour post-study coma.

Tucker Cholvin knows that the proper way to signal that you have friends when eating alone at Leo’s is to fiddle with your phone and intermittently receive text messages at full volume.

Voice assistant leisure editor and former tweetacular-writer Kirill Makarenko knows that time is a social construction.

Georgetown Hot Mess points to the fact that any Georgetown student during finals week could very well be a Jedi-murderer and we would have no way of knowing.

Among Fiona Meagher’s other first-world problems: Waiting in line for all-you-care-to-eat food at Leo’s, having to live in a lower-level Village A, and having to fly out of Dulles.

Fresh off of advising young men everywhere not to act like 2 Chainz, Vox advice columnist Emlyn Crenshaw realizes that even 2 Chainz is taking Emlyn’s advice—just in the field of eyewear.

Remember to submit your questions to Emlyn’s column, Just the Tip.

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