At least Alexander Podkul doesn’t have the body of a smallish receptionist and the mind of a 13 year-old boy like Vox does.

The kids these days, they do start at a young age. Soon Ana Smith’s cousin will have a LinkedIn: “Classroom monitor from Jan. 14 to Jan. 18, 2012. Oversaw lunch line, passed out worksheets, and cleaned chalkboard.”

Bisi O knows that small talk can be tiresome. All Vox did over break was eat Captain Crunch out of the box and watch Adventure Time. Mathematical!

Porn has also given Georgetown Hot Mess an unreasonable expectation on how cute pizza boys are.

Megan Schmidt‘s haters can keep hatin. Once PajamaJeans® comes out with a full lineup of clothing, Vox will have no reason to buy real clothes anymore.Wow, this whole eating alone thing is really taking its toll on Tucker Cholvin. Remember: At Georgetown, it’s socially unacceptable to be seen with fewer than three friends at any given time. At Leo’s—at least four.

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