Just the Tip: There’s something about Fabio
So I met this really cute guy at a party, and I got his number. Now, he’s not anything special—I just want to hook up with him cuz he’s hot. But I also don’t want to be a booty call. He texted me at 3 a.m. asking if I wanted to meet up. Call me old-fashioned, but I’d rather meet up at a party first and at least drink a bit with him before going back to his place. How do I balance being a booty call and dating?
It sounds like you’re looking for a hook up buddy rather than a booty call. As far as I understand it, a booty call is going to call up your booty on the phone late at night for some sexin’, and that’s about it. But a hook up buddy situation can feel a little less like going to get your order at Booey’s when they call your number over the little microphone—as long as you’re clear about your intentions with this guy (see my advice about clear intentions from a few weeks ago, part of Lover Boy’s question), I see no reason why you two can’t mingle around at a party, share a slice at Tuscany’s, or listen to Fabio After Dark together first to get things goin’.
Go ahead and propose the idea if you feel up to it—say you’d be open to having some fun, clarify what that relationship would ideally involve, and emphasize that you’re not looking for a relationship. Just make sure you really, truly, honestly mean that, because falling hopelessly in love with someone who only sees you as a fuck buddy sounds like the plot of a boring Lifetime movie and also would be terrible. Go get ‘em tiger.
Read the next question to Emlyn after the jump and submit your questions for next week’s column!
I have a crush on a self-help blogger. While she seems upbeat and hilarious, I cannot bring myself to ask her out because I’m way too cool for that nonsense (‘casm). Did I mention that I’ve never met her? How do I make that power move and sweep her off her feet?
A Tremblyn’ Bro
I just realized that my name kind of rhymes with the word tremblin’! Probably unrelated to your subtle question, but an interesting realization nonetheless. Anyway. Before you sweep anyone off their feet and begin building the white picket fence around your own personal Love Shack (hopefully with Fred Schneider inside), you should probably meet the individual in question. That’s just my hunch. Sometimes people seem great from afar, but in person things can change completely. What if this assuredly gorgeous self-help blogger isn’t single? What if she’s really Connor Jones in disguise? What if she’s one of those people who doesn’t want to kiss until marriage? I, for instance, fit into one of these three categories—and it’s not outrageously unlikely that whoever you’re admiring does too. Figure out what you’re working with first and take it from there.
As for how to go about sweeping someone off their feet, my primary suggestion (and this goes for all you lonely hearts out there) is to avoid saying or using “’casm” in any context. After that, it’s really up to you. The act of romancing is personal, and thus should fit both parties involved. Is this girl the sentimental type? Do the whole flowers/candlelight dinners/walking her to her door routine. Is she not sentimental at all? Ditch the flowers and take her to a sweaty concert or to Rocky Horror Picture Show at E Street Cinema. Maybe you’re really into art? Draw her pictures (though perhaps not portraits of your beloved, if you don’t want to be creepy or unintentionally insulting) and take her to your favorite gallery. You get the idea. As long as you’re being sweet and genuine, it should do the trick.
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