Just the Tip: DTRs and Straight Ds

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Dear Emlyn,

In high school, I retained a near-4.0 GPA. Since I got to Georgetown, my GPA is sinking and sinking… I don’t want to say what it is, but my parents still think I have flawless grades. I have to send a transcript to still be eligible for a scholarship and I keep putting it off because I don’t want to send my transcript to my parents. What do I do?


Dazed and Confuzzled

Hey Confuzzled,

Do you have the kind of parents that drunk text you selfies, or the kind of parents that plaster “Proud Parent of an A/B Honor Roll Student!!!!” stickers all over their cars? If it’s the first kind, just call them and break the news gently. Tell your parents about how university standards differ from high school standards, and explain how you’ve been adjusting to that and what you’ve learned from the change. Don’t just whine about how CPS ruined your life, because even people who love you unconditionally don’t want to hear that. Address the issue intelligently, and they should completely understand. You’re golden. Try enrolling in Math and Society next semester if your GPA needs a little help, and if you’re trying to find a class in which using the word “confuzzled” in a paper would be acceptable.

If you have the second kind of parents, it might be a little trickier for you. Most things are, but you’ve probably known that ever since they got way too invested in the success of your middle school soccer team and made detailed signs to cheer you on. Give the same exact phone call, and don’t be worried if it doesn’t go over well (because it definitely won’t). Hold your own, assure them that you’re working as hard as you can, and don’t promise/guarantee any specific GPA for next semester. That’s how they trap ya. If your parents still can’t get over the fact that they’re not getting another bumper sticker bragging about your academic performance, I suggest bringing in back-up. Talk to your dean about how your parents’ insanity, and see if he/she will shoot them an email to discuss the academic transition you’ve just been through, possible solutions or study habit alternatives, and so on. Your parents will probably be much more willing to reason with your dean than they will with little old you.

Read the next question to Emlyn and submit questions of your own after the jump!

Dear Emlyn,

I’ve been seeing this guy for a while now (all freshman year), but it still feels strange to me because we barely see each other. I’m worried he’s using me as a convenient hook-up and just calling it something else to keep me around, when he doesn’t really want an actual relationship. Should I confront him about this? What should I do?


My dear Uncertain,

Shiiiiiiiiiiit. I hate to say it, but you’ve got to DTR. The ‘Define The Relationship’ conversation is the most horrifying thing ever because if your relationship is fragile enough to necessitate a DTR in the first place, I would imagine it’s really easy to scare away your partner by DTRing way too hard. I’d usually advise you to wait it out and ~~~let the DTR to come to you~~~, (henceforth, all text bookended with “~” should be read in the voice of an inspirational speaker, out loud and/or in your head) but it looks like you’ve been waiting around for an entire year and it’s time to take action.

So. If you’re going to DTR, do it as casually and calmly as you can possibly think of. You do NOT want to end up drunk on a Saturday night in the road between Copley and DPAC, Wingos hot sauce smeared across your face, screaming and crying, “WHAT AM I TO YOU ANYWAY!?!” The Copley windows are not soundproof by the way, and I follow all of your personal dramas that unfold there more avidly than my grandmother watches Jeopardy reruns. DTR soon (to avoid drunk outbursts, as described above), but do it at a moment when it feels right and when the two of you are alone. Make sure to choose your words carefully; say you’re a little confused about what kind of relationship he wants with you, and ask what the deal is. Don’t be afraid to talk about what you want from him as well… and if you two don’t agree, move on to better boys. ~~~You’re worth it!~~~

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