Just the Tip: Let your freak flag fly (and have yourself a mini freak parade)

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Dear Emlyn,

I’m a pretty big deal on Reddit. I don’t know who that fucker on Georgetown Confessions was, but I have kind of a lot of karma (just saying). Anyway, I kind of want to tell my friends about my weird obsession, but I’m worried they’ll judge me. What should I do? Should I be embarrassed?

Thx,
u/REDDIT4EVA

Hi u/REDDIT4EVA,

Helllll no, don’t be embarrassed at all. Your weird obsessions make you fascinating and therefore a gem of a friend. Wave that lil’ freak flag around in little circles like you’re in a parade. Sure, maybe spending hours a day on Reddit is, by societal standards, a little out of the ordinary. But if your friends are friends and not dicks, they should be psyched that you have something a little more off-color to talk about than the weather or the latest sale at Baublebar.

A dear friend of mine from home used to smoke one cigarette a month while driving in her car and listening to show tunes. Another friend once told me he used to paint his face, go to the park, and mime for a few hours just for kicks. WHAT. I’m sorry but how could I not want to talk with these people? What is their deal? This is my chance to learn more about the miming industry!!!!!

This, of course, all holds true if and only if your friends are friends and not dicks. If your friends turn out to be dicks and not friends, don’t worry about it too much. Because they are dicks. Hit them over the head with the internet or something.

Read the next question to Emlyn and submit your own question after the jump!

Hi Dr. Emlyn,

I’ve been scouring the Georgetown Confessions page like absolutely everyone else, be it for their interest in ridiculing affirmative action or for learning about juicy sex things, but I am looking deep and wide for someone to make a love confession about me. It has yet to happen and I’m starting to get sad… this seems like the perfect outlet for such a thing. I want someone to want me. Should I give up?

From,
Attention Please

Hi Attention,

It could be that someone does want you or love you and – GASP – just hasn’t posted on Facebook about it. Maybe your lover is shy, taking it slow, and are worried you’d know it was them if they posted. Maybe they don’t want to post anything for fear of it inevitably turning into an argument about race/class relations at Georgetown. Maybe they’re so cool and mysterious that they don’t have a Facebook, and spend all of their time writing poetry about you by candlelight. Now that I think about it, it’s probably that third possibility.

Chill out with the Georgetown Confessions obsession, because checking it every twenty minutes is just going to make you feel bad about yourself. See how long you can go without checking it, and if your dream man or woman decides to lay down their ink pen and parchment long enough to make a confession about your irresistible aura, assume that one of your friends will tag you in the comments.

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