Just the Tip: Prefrosh Edition #3
I’m a little bit concerned about my social life at Georgetown. I mean, there’s no Greek life so like how do you even meet girls who are down to have a good time, if you know what I mean…? At my old school my frat would mix with Delta Zeta a lot (you know, like EZ DZ), so getting girls was pretty much a piece of cake. Not that I’m concerned I like won’t get girls or anything, but still.
Vineyard Vines 4 Lyfe
Hey Vineyard Vines,
First, let me say that the entirety of my understanding of Greek life comes from television/movies, mainly Animal House and Legally Blonde. To my knowledge, you get smacked on the ass a lot with wooden paddles, do secret handshakes in public places like nail salons, and that’s about it. I’m probably simplifying it a smidge, but there’s still nothing in that equation guaranteeing you’ll get girls. Maybe I’m unaware of some weird voodoo shit you guys do, but I’m pretty sure I know what I’m talking about when I say that there’s no way to magically make people attracted to you (Hiiii, wish rule #3 in Aladdin).
Take stock of your life and realize you never needed the Greek system and its associated voodoo as a means of meeting people – it was just convenient. Georgetown still has parties that you’ll get invited to, girls that are all hot and bothered by the idea of men in boat shoes, and even unofficial frats you can join if you miss the ass smacking! No worries, you’ll be just fine. Spread your Nantucket red wings and fly.
When my housing assignment came out a few weeks ago, and I saw that I was living in Darnall, I was devastated. I’ve heard only bad things about living in Darnall and I’m really worried that it’s going to make freshman year much less fun than if I lived in New South or VCW. Is living in Darnall really as bad as everyone says?
Socially speaking, being assigned to Darnall freshman year is essentially the same thing as being friends in middle school with the kids that still like to play horses. You should probably transfer or else get ready for lots of lonely bus rides where you listen to the clean version of “Grillz” over and over.
Wish I could say I’m kidding, but I’m not. Your life will be monumentally affected by the fact that you have to walk seven minutes to Leo’s instead of four. You also have no private bathroom, which means you’ll be throwing up in a regularly cleaned bathroom stall on Saturday night instead. Can you say lame?! Most importantly, you’re gonna be missing out on all the ragin’ dance parties in the other freshman hizzies. Zoo South, am I right??!!?! Turnt up in this Harbin meth lab, you feel me? Is anybody still reading this? Oh, all the readers probably left for a BUMPIN VCW THROWDOWN, VCW LET ME HEAR YOU SAY PARTAAAAAAAY.
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Editor’s Note: A previous version of this post included a link to the LGBTQ Resource Center Vox editors have deemed distasteful and have removed. As the sidebar says, opinions expressed in “Just the Tip” are those of the author, not of Vox Populi or the Georgetown Voice.