Just the Tip: Prefrosh Edition #3

Dear Emlyn,

I’m a little bit concerned about my social life at Georgetown. I mean, there’s no Greek life so like how do you even meet girls who are down to have a good time, if you know what I mean…? At my old school my frat would mix with Delta Zeta a lot (you know, like EZ DZ), so getting girls was pretty much a piece of cake. Not that I’m concerned I like won’t get girls or anything, but still.

Thx,

Vineyard Vines 4 Lyfe

Hey Vineyard Vines,

First, let me say that the entirety of my understanding of Greek life comes from television/movies, mainly Animal House and Legally Blonde. To my knowledge, you get smacked on the ass a lot with wooden paddles, do secret handshakes in public places like nail salons, and that’s about it. I’m probably simplifying it a smidge, but there’s still nothing in that equation guaranteeing you’ll get girls. Maybe I’m unaware of some weird voodoo shit you guys do, but I’m pretty sure I know what I’m talking about when I say that there’s no way to magically make people attracted to you (Hiiii, wish rule #3 in Aladdin).

Take stock of your life and realize you never needed the Greek system and its associated voodoo as a means of meeting people – it was just convenient. Georgetown still has parties that you’ll get invited to, girls that are all hot and bothered by the idea of men in boat shoes, and even unofficial frats you can join if you miss the ass smacking! No worries, you’ll be just fine. Spread your Nantucket red wings and fly.

Dear Emlyn,

When my housing assignment came out a few weeks ago, and I saw that I was living in Darnall, I was devastated. I’ve heard only bad things about living in Darnall and I’m really worried that it’s going to make freshman year much less fun than if I lived in New South or VCW. Is living in Darnall really as bad as everyone says?

Thanks,
Flagrantly Frosh

Hey Frosh,

Socially speaking, being assigned to Darnall freshman year is essentially the same thing as being friends in middle school with the kids that still like to play horses. You should probably transfer or else get ready for lots of lonely bus rides where you listen to the clean version of “Grillz” over and over.

Wish I could say I’m kidding, but I’m not. Your life will be monumentally affected by the fact that you have to walk seven minutes to Leo’s instead of four. You also have no private bathroom, which means you’ll be throwing up in a regularly cleaned bathroom stall on Saturday night instead. Can you say lame?! Most importantly, you’re gonna be missing out on all the ragin’ dance parties in the other freshman hizzies. Zoo South, am I right??!!?! Turnt up in this Harbin meth lab, you feel me? Is anybody still reading this? Oh, all the readers probably left for a BUMPIN VCW THROWDOWN, VCW LET ME HEAR YOU SAY PARTAAAAAAAY.

Note that all submissions become the exclusive property of the Georgetown Voice, which reserves the right to edit for clarity and length.

Editor’s Note: A previous version of this post included a link to the LGBTQ Resource Center Vox editors have deemed distasteful and have removed. As the sidebar says, opinions expressed in “Just the Tip” are those of the author, not of Vox Populi or the Georgetown Voice.

7 Comments on “Just the Tip: Prefrosh Edition #3

  1. Seriously, you linked to the LGBTQ resource center’s website when you wrote “unofficial frats you can join if you miss the ass smacking?” What is that supposed to imply? Way to propagate homophobia.

  2. As the President of GUPride, I can not believe the link the link provided after “ass-smacking”

    This is no message to send to incoming freshmen. What if a LGBT student, already concerned about his identity being respected at a catholic institution, were to read this post? If this is just off color humor, something that I usually adore, i’m sorry, this joke didn’t land.

    Luckily for that freshman, most of our campus has become far less vulgar in its discussion of its still sometimes fragile LGBTQ community.

    I request that the link be deactivated immediately.

  3. @Seriously? @Thomas Lloyd

    You’re absolutely right. The link has been removed and an editor’s note has been added to the post.

  4. If the Greek scene is something “Vineyard Vines 4 Lyfe” is interested in, he should know about the number of fraternities/sororities that do exist on campus–e.g., SigEp, AKPsi, SAE, DPE, AEPi, “B-Frat”, Adelphi, and now KKG (a sorority debuting on campus this fall). Though they’re not “official” in the sense of being recognized by the university, many of them are actually nationally chartered–i.e., they’re official chapters of their national Greek organization–and are as legitimate in terms of the experience they offer their members as any university-sanctioned group.

    I’m glad to see the link to the LGBTQ Resource Center has been deactivated. As for “ass smacking,” I’ve been in SigEp for three years now and “paddling” has yet to be a part of the experience. I’d encourage all new students to look past the anti-frat stereotypes initially and give Greek life a fair shake when they arrive on campus. They may conclude in the end that the stereotypes are true–for some organizations, I think they are–but they should at least enter with open minds. Some groups really are making an effort to be different.

  5. Hi all, sorry about the placement/general vulgarity of that comment/link. I didn’t intend it to be a comment on homosexuality being an “unofficial frat,” I just threw in some off branded humor linking ass smacking to the LGBTQ center,
    which is derogatory in retrospect. I was just trying to be humorous as I try to be about every other community at Georgetown, but it was poorly thought out and I ask that you blame my stupidity. I have personally established a fairly filthy rapport with certain friends that identify as LGBTQ, but obviously posting on a public blog as a semi-anonymous author is a completely different context and i suppose that slipped my mind as I hastily finished this post. Sorry to have offended anyone. Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Questioning/Transgender/Straight/Leggings-as-pants wearing freshman, may you love Georgetown so hard.

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