Just the Tip: Vasodilate, but don’t flatuate

Just-the-Tip-transparentThis Just the Tip was published late due to technical difficulties with Vox‘s new format. Just the Tips will be posted on Fridays from this point forward, so submit questions using the form at the bottom of the post so Caitríona will have something to do for Friday.

Hi Caitríona, Whenever I hook up, I can’t seem to get it up. Is it possible for guys under 20 to have ED? Maybe I’m just being paranoid. Help!
-Signed
Edward Downward

Dear Edward Downward,

Have you ever heard of whiskey dick? I know from experience that this is a widespread problem among Georgetown boozers. You know, I’ve developed a theory that when it comes to getting down, the shorter the chubbies a guy wears to a party, the emptier his promises will be. I guess Shakespeare got it right when he wrote, “It provokes the desire but takes away the performance.”

Nerves also play a huge factor. You may just be psyching yourself out every time, especially because you say this is a recurring problem. I suggest picking a steady friend with benefits, girlfriend, boyfriend, or whatever you want to call it so you can get comfortable with the birds and the bees. If you’re more of an eternal bachelor, try giving yourself a pep talk before hand (preferably not out loud).

But seriously, ED is super rare among men under the age of 40, so I wouldn’t worry too much, you’ll get your wings soon. It just might take little practice.

Keep your chin up,

Caitríona

Dear Caitríona, Last semester, I went to Tombs on a Tuesday night. I hadn’t expected to meet anyone, given the sketchy demographic to parties on Tuesdays, but I surprisingly met the guy of my dreams. We started hooking up, but the only problem is apparently the taco I had from half price Qdoba Tuesdays hadn’t fully settled. I passed gas while we were hooking up and he ran away. I really thought we had a good thing going. What do I do? I really want to reconnect. Is there any hope?
-Signed
Hopelessly Gassy on the Hilltop

I guess it all depends on what kind of fart it was. Loud? Silent? Did the smell linger? All important factor on accessing the damage done. On a different note, my dad  always tells me “You’ll never meet anything good in a bar!” and as much as I want to disagree with him, I can’t. What kind of a prince runs away from a little flatulence? Does he really expect you not to have bodily functions? I mean, if you two did end up riding off into the sunset together, he probably will hear you fart at some point, right? Farting, burping, and a variety of bodily fluids are all nonnegotiable when it comes to relationships. However, it’s also possible this guy wasn’t weirded out by your fart, but by the fact that you were so into him. Maybe he wasn’t running away from your flatulence, but from commitment. Whatever his reasoning, you deserve better. Definitely forget that loser.

Cut loose,

Caitríona

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