Celebrate a holiday of shameless consumerism by sticking it to the man
Friday is Valentine’s Day, one of those rare holidays that leaves some in tears of joy and other actually crying. A perhaps unwarranted reaction, considering what Valentine’s Day actually is: consumerism and chocolate. So Vox presents some ways to get through it all.
The Feast of Saint Valentine is celebrated in countries worldwide, technically in honor of a Christian saint who married people who were not allowed to get married.
In the real world, though, Valentine’s Day is less about the Christianity and more about the chocolate. Though arguably not a bad trade, Valentine’s Day has morphed into a curious phenomenon where lovers express their love through unabashed consumerism, shelling out for that perfect reservation or more simply, chocolate.
Valentine’s has remained prominent in American culture only because business interests want it that way. And so, Vox thinks couples and singles should celebrate this year by sticking it to the man.
Make reservations: Don’t show up.
Fake a public breakup: Find a table at a nice, crowded restaurant with a friend or significant other. Quibble over hors d’oeuvres, bicker about the menu and deliver blows when the main course arrives. Extra points for something getting broken.
Buy a heart-shaped box of chocolates: And launch them at your ex’s residence, or off the Key Bridge.
Buy discounted chocolate on Saturday: Everything tastes better when it’s cheap.
Wear this all day: Because you can.
Watch the new season of House of Cards: What you’ll all be doing anyway (but actually).
Photo: Cacaobug via Flickr