Celebrate a holiday of shameless consumerism by sticking it to the man

Friday is Valentine’s Day, one of those rare holidays that leaves some in tears of joy and other actually crying. A perhaps unwarranted reaction, considering what Valentine’s Day actually is: consumerism and chocolate. So Vox presents some ways to get through it all.

The Feast of Saint Valentine is celebrated in countries worldwide, technically in honor of a Christian saint who married people who were not allowed to get married.

In the real world, though, Valentine’s Day is less about the Christianity and more about the chocolate. Though arguably not a bad trade, Valentine’s Day has morphed into a curious phenomenon where lovers express their love through unabashed consumerism, shelling out for that perfect reservation or more simply, chocolate.

Valentine’s has remained prominent in American culture only because business interests want it that way. And so, Vox thinks couples and singles should celebrate this year by sticking it to the man.

Make reservations: Don’t show up.

Fake a public breakup: Find a table at a nice, crowded restaurant with a friend or significant other. Quibble over hors d’oeuvres, bicker about the menu and deliver blows when the main course arrives. Extra points for something getting broken.

Buy a heart-shaped box of chocolates: And launch them at your ex’s residence, or off the Key Bridge.

Buy discounted chocolate on Saturday: Everything tastes better when it’s cheap.

Wear this all day: Because you can.

Watch the new season of House of Cards: What you’ll all be doing anyway (but actually).

Photo: Cacaobug via Flickr

3 Comments on “Celebrate a holiday of shameless consumerism by sticking it to the man

  1. Even more points for anyone submitting amusing video recordings of actually following through with the more public suggestions in this post.

  2. Would Catholic Bishop John Carroll (whom founded Georgetown) be pleased with this blog? Swapping Christianity for Chocolate a fair trade? Then why attend a Catholic University? Does one have to swear to make a point? I thought college students were more skilled than that. Do your suggestions of shameful public behaviors encourage our youth to grow in dignity? Is this the way we want to represent the Untied States of America? You are certainly capable of rising to a higher standard, the choice, however, is purely your own. I invite you to try it. You might enjoy reading a book about the man who founded your college. Your creativity, if properly directed, could bare much fruit. Keep growing and embrace the journey.

  3. Whenever I’m deciding what to order from Wisey’s or where to sit in Lau, I like to think to myself, WWJCT? (What Would John Carroll Think?) I find it helpful to see whether my everyday activities mesh with the infinite wisdom of an 18th century bishop. He wouldn’t have liked that website I visited yesterday….

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