Just the Tip: Roommate edition

Submit questions using the form at the bottom of the post so Caitríona can respond to your deepest, darkest questions.

Dear Caitríona,

So I get along with my roommate pretty well for the most part. But the thing is we keep walking in on each other while the other is masturbating. We’ve tried the tie on the door system, but it keeps happening. Any tips?

Sincerely,

Wrong Place at the Wrong Time

Wait, is this really that difficult of a problem to solve? Do you both just get so caught up in the excitement of beating the bishop that you can’t send a text or lock the door? If that’s the case, I think I should be the one asking you two for some pointers on self-servicing.

The only solution I can see is that you both should learn to be at peace with each other’s need to choke the chicken, tease the kitty… whatever you want to call it. Everyone does it anyway, you guys might as well just be chill about it.

Get Down With Your Bad Selves,

Caítriona

Dear Caitriona,

 I’m a freshmen in New South and I have a problem. I love my roommate. Literally. I love him. I don’t know what to do about it because if I told him it would make everything awkward and we still have two months left at school. What should I do???

Help Please!

Head over Heels

Do nothing. For now at least. You have six semesters left here, so there’s no need to rush anything, especially if letting your roommate know how you feel would make the rest of the year super awkward. Wait until next semester at least before you try anything, that way you will have some distance and if things go badly, you don’t have to go home to your mistake every night.

For the time being, just try to be the best roommate and friend that you can and if your friendship continues after you stop rooming together that’s a really good sign. Now that I think of it, ex-roommates have the potential to be the best significant other ever. They already know all your bad habits, they’ve seen you in your Pokémon boxers munching on Ben and Jerry’s at four in the morning, you literally cannot sink any lower that you can in they eyes of a roommate. Everything is already on the table.

Good Luck,

Caitriona

Note that all questions become the exclusive property of the Georgetown Voice, which reserves the right to edit for clarity and length.

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2 Comments on “Just the Tip: Roommate edition

  1. Can someone pretty pretty please fix the horribleness that’s going on with the quotation marks here? It isn’t difficult, I promise.

  2. “Head over Heels,”

    Listen to Caitriona. LISTEN TO HER. My roommate confessed his love for me at about this time in my freshman year and I WAS NOT COMFORTABLE.

    Under no circumstances should you confess your love to your roommate. End of story.

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