Just the Tip: GAAP group stampedes and undocumented residents

“Dear Caitríona,”

“I have had it up to here with GAAP tour groups. They are so rude and never seem to feel the need to move aside for other people who want to use the sidewalk. I am close to snapping and going on a vicious rampage. Do you have any tips for coping?”

“Sincerely,”

“Ready for a rampage”

Dear Ready for a Rampage,

I feel the same way. Whenever I am walking on the sidewalks by Copley Lawn and I see a tour group coming, I feel like Simba did when the herd of wildebeest started stampeding. My first instinct was to run and hide, but then I realized that I’m the one who actually goes to this school. I pay tuition to use those goddamn sidewalks and no high school senior, no matter how gifted they are, is going to take that right away from me. So now I stand my ground and even though the prospect of standing up to that herd of GAAP fills me with terror, I stay on the side walk and let them move for me. Sorry I’m not sorry. I say you do the same.

Don’t stop me now,
Caitríona

“Dear Caitríona,”

“I am an incoming freshmen and I am really excited to move in next fall. There’s just one problem, I have a pet hamster and I will be heartbroken if I have to leave her at home. I already know my roommate and he said he would be cool with a pet. Is it realistic to keep a small caged animal in a dorm room without getting caught?”

“Sincerely,”
“Hamster Lover”

Dear Hamster Lover,

Oh, it is very doable. The only thing that could stop you is some kind of mis-guided respect for authority, and, if you are going to be a college student, I suggest you get over that as soon as you can. There’s enough room to keep a small cage under your desk and hamsters are quiet enough that your neighbors won’t hear anything. If you throw a blanket over the cage whenever your RA does room inspections and find a babysitter to take care of him if you go away for a weekend, you won’t have a problem. You just need to be careful with who knows about your hamster. Definitely show discretion when you tell people about your hamster and when you post about it on social media. You never know who you can trust.

Use incognito mode,
Caitríona

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