Burleith residents gather pitchforks, shake fists at Fed Chairwoman’s security detail
Imagine waking up one morning in your $1.4 million townhouse and going to the front window to soak in the gorgeous view, only to notice something out of the ordinary: a truck that’s been idling on the street for 22 whole minutes. Not only that—but the truck spills some fluid when it drives away. This little hypothetical has become a tragic reality for many Burleith residents, whose otherwise tranquil morning routines have been interrupted rudely by Federal Reserve Chairwoman Janet Yellen‘s security detail.
Yellen, who assumed her role at the Fed in February, is new to her position and new to the Burleith neighborhood, and Burleith residents can’t stand the security team who protects her.
Neighborhood complaints against the officers range from their bulging, snacker bellies to their breaking the 15 miles-per-hour speed limit. Some reports from neighbors indicate that one of the officers spilled something on the road that has left a permanent stain.
Apparently, Yellen fails to live up to the high standards her ritzy neighbors have come to expect from the men and women who run the government of the most powerful country in the world and yet deign to live in their neighborhood, with all its paint color restrictions.
“[Former FBI Director] Bob Mueller,who you would think would have a much more dangerous job dealing with terrorists all over the world, had people who were businesslike, didn’t socialize and waited for him outside the gate,” one resident said, according to the Wall Street Journal. “Now we have this group, overweight, wearing the most ridiculous blue uniforms with the most ridiculous blue caps, and they have guns that are visible.” According to the Journal this resident declined to be named because she fears government reprisals, like not picking up dog poop that gets on her lawn or passive-aggressively tipping her empty garbage cans over.
The Hillandale Board and Covenant Committee, which monitors compliance with community rules, has yet to sanction Yellen or the Fed for the hungry security detail, but has petitioned the government to reevaluate the level of security needed for Yellen. According to some neighbors, the detail’s leader has offered to dress his officers up in button-down shirts and ensure equal discretion with guns and fast food deliveries.
Is it just Vox or does this whole thing sound like the plot of a Seth Rogan comedy?
Photo: DonkeyHotey via Flickr, modified via Blingee.com