On the Record with Joe and Connor: Creating a shark-free Youtopia of clarity and transparency

The fifth and final ticket in the 2015 GUSA Executive Election that Vox spoke with was Joe Luther (COL ’16), running for President, and Connor Rohan (COL ’16), running for Vice President. Their platform is chock-full of “___topias”, including Healthtopia to expand CAPS and Student Health Center hours and prioritize handicap accessibility across campus. Vox is also an ardent supporter of Tastetopia.

What are the most important issues addressed in your platform, and what are some immediate changes you would like to make in office?

As candidates for GUSA President and Vice President, it is our unwavering goal to cram in as many buzzwords into this platform question as possible. So when I say that this 2015 election comes down to empowerment – giving the student body the collective voice it deserves – you better believe that together we can unite, rise up, transparency, freedom of speech, diversity.

What makes your ticket unique from the others that are in the running?

Many of our critics have expressed their dissatisfaction with our platform, as they consider it too practical and flagrantly relevant to issues currently affecting the student body. Ultimately, our platform is the most accessible and fun to read; our approach, though nontraditional, frames important issues in a way that gets people legitimately interested in student government and university affairs. Who has the time to sit down and read Abbey and Will’s 90,000 page platform? It’s like War and Peace on steroids, but with all the cool Russian stuff replaced with bullet points about tax forms and silverware. We strive for clarity and solutions, not bulk and rhetoric.

Which groups on campus have you been involved in during your time at Georgetown?

Joe is currently the editor-in-chief of The Georgetown Heckler, a member of the Georgetown Improv Association, an employee at Vital Vittles, a tour guide with Blue & Gray, and an NSO captain. Connor is currently the managing editor of The Georgetown Heckler, a member of the Georgetown Improv Association, a Transfer Mentor with GUSA, and is an employee with the Department of Performing arts.

If you could describe your campaign in four words, what would they be?

Dignity, dignity, dignity, dignity.

What is your favorite Wisey’s sandwich?

Joe: Haha, yes! I am a relatable, real human being who requires protein, starch, and water-based fluids for sustenance. My favorite bread-meat item is [WHITE BREAD AND TURKEY].

Connor: I agree! Because Joe and I are not the discarded by products of an artificial intelligence experiment that have accidentally acquired sentience, we enjoy [SANDWICHES] and exercising our fleshy human muscles.

Thoughts on Left Shark for GUSA 2015?

Joe: Both of my childhood dogs, Ruffert and Riley, were eaten by sharks. The Ruffert incident happened when I was four. We were at the beach playing fetch when I threw a bone into the ocean for Ruffert to retrieve. In retrospect, that was a mistake, as the bone was still coated in raw seal meat; this led to the shark attack that robbed me of my only friend. Years later, I convinced my parents that I was responsible enough to bring another dog, Riley, home from the pound. However, I soon made the same foolish mistake with Riley as I made with Ruffert. Call it dog-master intuition, but despite the 424-mile distance between the beaches where the two incidents occurred, I’m certain that the same shark committed both murderous deeds. In conclusion, I will not endorse a shark for president.

Connor: Gangnam Style for GUSA

Editor’s Note: Photo has been updated as of 6:45 p.m.

Photo: Andrew Sullivan/The Georgetown Voice

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