Mike tweets the dreaded thought creeping into the minds of students attempting to put the realization off until study days begin. Based on this week’s weather, however, Georgetown students can still look forward to the fact that unlike finals, winter is not coming.

Allie Prescott‘s logic is impeccable until you consider the $200,000 you are paying to be told to do said homework.

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Though Fiona Meagher is correct in implying that we are all slowly being absorbed by social media, Thanksgiving is a holiday because we only reserve those special days for extended family feuds and heated Scrabble games.

In response to the harsh criticism of American society presented by Georgetown Hot Mess, Vox has devised a clever solution: just protest Wal-mart’s labor violations while simultaneously fighting in aisle five for the best bargain.

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Unbeknownst to most of the Georgetown community, the laptop theft prevention initiative undertaken by DPS is actually just a clever ruse to prepare students for the responsibilities that come with adulthood.

Assistant Leisure Editor Julia Lloyd-George makes a valid point, but even under in communist states, citizens could recognize a system that has little institutional legitimacy.

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It was only a matter of time before Georgetown Hot Mess reduced a complex electoral process to a Mean Girls reference.

This MSBro should know that the state’s job market will soon be inundated with open positions resulting from employees failing to show up to work for undeclared reasons.

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Though he will give you a stamp, Tucker Cholvin does not have anything nearly as cool as an “I voted for Hello Kitty” pin.

The winding down of the campaign season has spurred the creativity of students like Allie Prescott with regard to party themes. For the record, those seriously considering coming as Comic Sans need not apply.

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Hurricane Sandy is already forcing students like Lizzy Lafranchise to settle for questionable forms of entertainment, like shopping at Pottery Barn. It won’t be long before the Georgetown community devolves into a state of nature.

Bisi O‘s deal with nature succeeded, resulting in cancelled Monday classes. Overjoyed students were soon rewarded with yet another day off. And so, the vicious self-reinforcing cycle of procrastination continues.

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Megan Schmidt echoes Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s deepest unspoken desire: to one day have as many Twitter followers as Justin Bieber.

PIZZA @ LEO’S asks the Secretary of State to endorse Leo’s pizza. Perhaps we can expect an editorial from PIZZA@LEOS on why its voting for Obama. Or maybe this account is just a viral marketing campaign started by Aramark, which explains its lack of effectiveness.

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JM Alatis reminds the campus community that since student guards regularly adhere to just one half of their title, only YOU can prevent dorm room thefts.

Tucker Cholvin finally defines the long-sought reason to the question of why America is the greatest country on Earth, even when the actual statistics place it closer to 17th.

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Vox Patriciorum, that’s the best you got? *insert quip about how you only need to pass the fifth grade to know he killed a lot of people*

Allie Prescott forgot about Emeril Lagasse’s fruit soup! Take it in a cup to go, microwave it later.

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Michelle Pliskin echoes the sentiments of countless bleary-eyed students crawling to class on the Monday after Homecoming weekend. The seldom-truthful phrase, “never again” echoes the halls of Healy.

Vox respectfully disagrees with Megan Schmidt. Witnessing 1,000 freshmen slipping on pizza slices and spilling “non-alcoholic” beverages on their classmates at the Homecoming tailgate is the primary reason why college students and CSP employees lose their faith in humanity.

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