At 10:24 this morning, the University sent an email to all students indicating that it will be closed on Tuesday, October 30 due to the extreme weather being caused by Hurricane Sandy/Frankenstorm. This is the second consecutive day of cancelled classes due to the weather. The University also sent an email stating that, rest assured, “FOOD ON CAMPUS FOR MONDAY” will be comprised of plenty of Grab n’ Go meals to go around. Vital Vittles and Uncommon Grounds are currently open, and Hoya Snaxa will open at noon. Epicurean and Starbucks are also currently open.

We at Vox suggest staying indoor, keeping away from windows, having your flashlights handy, building a fort out of sheets, drinking lots of  hurricane cocktails, filling plastic bags with water and putting them in the freezer, breaking out that game of Apples to Apples that every college student has on hand, staying out of your basement in case it floods, hoarding food from Leo’s, and completely ignoring all the work you should be catching up on.

Photo by “Mean Girls in the Tardis”

Austin Tice (SFS ’02, LAW ’13), a freelance journalist for the Washington Post, McClatchy, and numerous other publications, is likely to have been taken into custody by the Syrian government, according to an article published today on McClatchy’s website. Tice, who had spent the summer in Syria traveling with rebel forces and reporting firsthand on the country’s civil war, has been missing since August 23, when his family reported that they had not heard from him in over a week.

According to McClatchy, a publishing company that distributes to newspapers, the law student, journalist, and former Marine infantry officer has been reported by Czech diplomats to be in the custody of the Syrian government after being detained by army forces in Daraya, a suburb of Damascus. The article also includes that the U.S. State Department has used official channels in attempt to discern information about Tice’s location and wellbeing, but offers no official information:

The U.S. State Department says the Syrian government has not responded to inquiries about Tice that were made through official channels and that U.S. diplomats were “working through our Czech protecting power in Syria to get more information on his welfare and whereabouts.”

The Washington Post offers similar information, adding a message from the publication’s executive editor urging his safe release:

“We’re investigating reports that Austin Tice is in the custody of Syrian authorities,” Marcus Brauchli, The Post’s executive editor, said in a statement. “If the reports are true, we urge these authorities to release him promptly, unharmed. Journalists should never be detained for doing their work, even — and especially — in difficult circumstances.”

Tice, who, like many journalists covering the conflict, entered Syria without a visa, has attracted the attention of advocacy group Reporters Without Borders, as well as the Committee to Protect Journalists, which reports that Syria is currently the most dangerous place in the world for journalists.

Vox will update this post as the story develops.

As NSO descends upon the Hilltop, the incoming freshmen will no doubt be a little scared, unnerved, or weirded out by some of the newness of college life. Here, we’ve compiled a handy list of some common people and things you’ll encounter during your first week here at Georgetown, and some advice about how to deal with them.

List compiled by Leigh Finnegan and Rob Sapunor, drawings by Kathleen Soriano-Taylor.

In this week’s Comments of the Week (plus Monday), we learned that Nicki Minaj is not only fascinated with Georgetown students’s rights, but wrote one of her catchier tunes about the Vox staff. We’re touched:

“All officers in the Department of Public Safety (DPS) are commissioned special police officers who are vested through the District of Columbia Metropolitan Police Department (MPD).”

Can’t believe all these stupid hoes up in Vox

Nicolas Cage loves our annual “Sex, Drugs, and Smoking” post, and not only because he once did mushrooms with his cat:

I love the this annual post solely for the uptight commenters…. *grabs popcorn*

And Leos_is_my_cologne perfects the drunken rant about Georgetown dining:

Ummmmmmm first off, Leos sucks. Chicken finger thursday’s now suck. Get there early if you want ketchup? Get there early if you want any chicken fingers at all…Second, tupperware doesn’t work anymore, ever notice why they put the cereal outside of the (most amazing smelling!) back room now? Late night sucks so bad it’s not even funny. One time they served fritos as an entrée at late night. Don’t be afraid to speak up and tell the head chefs how much they need to step up their game, except Moe and Waka Flocka (or Lil Wayne, whichever you prefer), they are chill. Bottom line, I’m drunk, Leo’s sucks, PEACE.

“Douchey” is a adjective that gets thrown around a lot in D.C.—it is, after all, chock full of politicians. But as we all know, that designation doesn’t confine itself to the Hill, and, in many cases, a person’s douche score will automatically increase whenever he or she enters an establishment where alcohol is sold. Complex quantified this phenomenon last week, when it released a list of the “25 Douchiest Bars in D.C.”

Spoiler alert: The gold medal went to McFadden’s. It was a landslide, this place is the Usain Bolt of douchey bars.

But don’t fret, Georgetown. Just because a place mostly frequented by tools from GW took #1, that doesn’t mean Georgetown didn’t get some love, too. The bronze medal went to Smith Point, that tiny place on Wisconsin that you’d never guess was ridiculously exclusive. George snagged #8, with Complex stereotypically suggesting that the requested attire is “the proper polo, salmon pants, and the appropriate loafer.” And, no surprise at all, our very own Rhino Bar and Pumphouse snagged a respectable #16. Here’s a snippet of their stunningly accurate description:

This is the type of place where you’ll find some unfortunate soul doubled over in a puddle of his own puke and tears (and possibly urine) after his team takes a Saturday L. As far as sports bars go, this is the place where dreams go to die. Like any stinking pit of bodies, it gives off that unclean feeling, like you’ll have to soak your hands in sanitizer for an hour afterwards—even if you didn’t touch anything.

Soak your hands? Try your entire body.

In response to this list, Brightest Young Things defended the cred of our city with a list of their own, which ran down the District’s least douchey watering holes. Not a single Georgetown bar made this list, despite BYT‘s accusation that Complex‘s list reaffirmed the stereotype of the neighborhood being “too preppy and too Republican.” Better luck next time, Thirds.

But maybe the most interesting part of the list was the single overlap: The Black Cat’s Red Room made both. Complex called it “reminiscent of the gateway to hell that you’ll remember from the original Amityville Horror,” while BYT hailed it as “a casual, cover-free destination when bar hopping along the spine of 14th Street.”

I know that we at Vox pulled a fast one on you devoted readers just last week when Vanya announced that Georgetown’s blog of record was going to be under new (but sort of old) management for the next two weeks. Well, as much as I’ve enjoyed being back here, I’m afraid that once again, it’s time for us to spend some time apart.

Starting this evening, Vox is going to be shut down temporarily until Monday, while our website developers get a brand spankin’ new site up and running. Until then, we’ll continue to update our Twitter and Facebook accounts, so you won’t be completely Voice-less.

See you all next week!

Photo from 123 Greetings.

@youngdiplomat‘s iPhone also recently developed an affinity for chianti and Prada athletic gear.

Isabel Lara sees through WMATA’s new plan to fight obesity, but isn’t doing it quite right; for a better workout, they want you to run up the down escalator.

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Don’t get Alex Free wrong, he loves almost everything about this work of high-pitched art. He’s just confused about the way those haters of free speech at Kidz Bop changed one of the lines to say “Your stare was holding/ Ripped jeans, smile was showing.” Why was he wearing jeans on his face?

Tucker Cholvin makes the best case for a Drake papacy that we’ve ever heard.

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After a 24-plus-month gestation period, which included innumerable meetings, hearings, and bitchings, this week the University and the neighbors finally welcomed into the world the long-overdue bundle of joy that is the 2010 Campus Plan. And after reading its provisions, the Vox commentariat quickly realized that this plan looks a lot more like its Burleith-dwelling mother than we’d hoped, and boy, is she ugly. Below, we have the best of the best from this championship commenting week.

Doug proved prophetic a few days before the plan was released, as if he were staring at the Death Star from the safety of the cockpit of his Millennium Falcon:

I have a bad feeling about this…

Office of the President made us want to rally behind John the Fearsome by digging a moat around campus and shooting flaming arrows at the neighbors:

Dear Ladies and Gentlemen,

On this fated afternoon I will face the chairman of our Georgetowne high council, Knight Ron Lewis, in grisly hand-to-hand combat to determine whose vision for the Campus Plan will prevail in fair Georgetowne. Lord Mayor Vince Gray will preside over the carnage and enforce this ancient rite’s sole rule–no kicks to the junk.

I am confident that this sickening fight to the death atop Georgetown’s seal represents the best interests of our entire community, as with my flanged mace, Grinder, I have never failed to pulverize the eye jellies of my enemies.

As many of you know, we have exhausted all other options for resolving this dispute. In February, a leadership team from the university and representatives from the neighborhood began a new set of negotiations, convening in the great Healy Hall of our forefathers to drink mead, dally with maidens fair, and blow our noses in the tablecloth. Each attendee got a suckling pig to himself. But with our number unable to find common ground after 47 hours of intense, closed-door negotiation, Lewis rent his garments, and in a fury unto madness, invoked “victoria aut mors,” which is why Olson, my boy squire, is strapping me into my resplendent armor, which some say was forged for John the Thompson, second in his name, as I dictate this.

I want to express my deep gratitude to the many members of our community who have sent me wreaths of laurel to bid me good fortune in my fight. But in the intervening hours before we celebrate my glorious victory, when I shall mount what is left of the head on Georgetowne’s great gates, we must prepare for the beginning of the next step for our university–a Great War that will unite the thuggish MSB tribes of the North, the SFSers of the South, with all their sibilant scheming, and the inscrutable mystics of Wolfington Hall.

Georgetowne is a university, and soon, it will control all its surrounding neighborhoods. Today, we move forward as one army, the distant thud of whose footsteps will drain the spirits of Lady Lenore Rubino’s most seasoned fighters, and engulf our enemies’ world in flame and despair.

I look forward to continuing to the work that lies ahead in the spirit of deep engagement and partnership.

Cura Personalis,

John of Gioia
King and Lord Commander of the fearsome Blue and Grey

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At 2:36 a.m. today, the Voice received an email addressed to “the faculty, staff, and students of Georgetown University” from three people claiming to be the thieves of the Healy Clock hands. The senders, who went by the names “Reaper, Goliath, and Juliet” and sent the message through a hushmail email address, told of how they “gained access to the restricted area above Healy Hall” despite “a series of countermeasures and obstacles.” The email also included a screenshot (again, covering their tracks) of the hands, pictured left, as proof of the senders’s validity.

And for those of us concerned with tradition, the thieves assure us that the hands are currently on their way to the Vatican. Hoya Saxa, Pope Benedict.

The full text of the email is below:

To the faculty, staff, and students of Georgetown University: