1) Erika (previously #2)

The majority of the episode was devoted to Erika’s long, overdramatic, and incredibly irritating struggle over whether or not to stay in the house, but I wouldn’t have given her the top spot if it weren’t for her actual decision: in the end, she left! The housemates were openly happy about it (they claimed it was best for her, but they were pretty obviously getting sick of her), and the viewers were thrilled. I just feel bad for her poor boyfriend.

Choice Quotation: “D.C. is not the place to start a music career!” She uses this as reason for her to go back to Cleveland?

Moment of High Comedy: Her never-ending chain of complaints and drama is seemingly instigated by a night out at a bar, when she complains about how she has to pee and doesn’t want to wait in lines.

2) Andrew (previously #1)

Given all the horniness, the panda hats, and the completely ridiculous entertainment that Andrew has provided over the past twelve episodes, it’s no wonder we forgot about his offhanded comment in the first episode about wanting to be a cartoonist. He pursues that goal this week, and despite some initial rejection winds up with a published cartoon in the Washington Times. Plus, he gets a trip to the White House out of it, for which he unfortunately leaves the panda hat at home.

Choice Quotation: “Pressure doesn’t really motivate me. Sex motivates me. Candy, treats, these are motivational things. But yelling and mean words just make Andrew sad.”

Moment of High Comedy: When he gets a call from his boss at the Post, reminding him that his deadline was yesterday, he makes up a lie about the scanner not working and whips together a (surprisingly good) cartoon in record time.

Read the rest of this entry »

Green Screen

The D.C. Environmental Film Festival had been celebrating nature and advocating better care for the Earth for years before Al Gore made that movie with his snazzy power point presentation. This week, the annual festival returns for its eighteenth year with over 150 films, some of which are national or worldwide premiers, at 66 different venues across the city. Between March 16 and 28, you can go (for free!) to as many of the movies as you want, including Nora!, a profile of D.C. restaurant owner Nora Pouillon, and Peripheria, a short animated film about the Swiss Navy conquering the South Pole. For more information on dates, films, and locations, go to www.dcenvironmentalfilmfest.org.

ArtFest

If you feel like doing something a bit more hands-on than watching movies about trees, you might want to check out ArtFest 2010 instead. From Friday, March 19, to Friday, March 26, the Arlington Artists Alliance is hosting a week-long celebration of all things sketched, painted, and sculpted.

There are loads of free art classes, from Colored Pencil Basics to Kinetic Art, as well as other events such as lectures, art shows, demonstrations, and musical performances. For more details, go to www.arlingtonartistsalliance.org. The events are take place at Arlington’s Hendry House, which is just s short cab ride from the Virginia Square-GMU metro stop on the Orange line.

Cars and Paper

Have you ever been to an auto body shop, looked at a car that’s being worked on from the underside, and thought it looked like art? Me neither, but apparently Maria Friberg has. Friberg, a photographer and video artist, has composed an entire collection featuring images of the bottoms of cars, entitled Transmissions, which will be opening at the Conner Contemporary Gallery this Saturday, March 20.

Along with Transmissions, DC’s own photographer and video artist Dean Kessmann will be showing his collection Art as Paper as Potential, based on 365 sheets of plain white paper, each one representing a day in the year of an artist’s life. The gallery is located at 1358 Florida Avenue NE, near the New York/Florida Avenue metro stop on the Red Line, and Saturday’s opening reception goes from 6 to 8 p.m.

1) Andrew (previously #1)

Yes, I know it’s the third week in a row. But Andrew got a girlfriend! And she’s hot! Sure, she’s a divorcee and former model who’s probably just using him to get on TV, but hey, at least she knows they’re dating. For him, that’s a step up. Plus, this means we viewers get a front-row seat to his terrible dating skills (they bond over having the same initials), awkward come-ons (“You taste so good!”), and weird ideas of love (“I want to stand on the top of a mountain, with trumpets playing, and flutes”).

Choice Quotation: “You cannot trust women. Aristotle once said, no one trusts a woman, not even a woman.”

Moment of High Comedy: On the first date, he brings up the two of them moving in together. She thinks he’s kidding. He isn’t.

2) Erika (previously tied for #7)

“Wah wah wah, I’m a failing musician and NPR won’t hire me and Callie gets to do something artsy and semi-succeed at it but rather than be happy for her I’m just going to whine and feel sorry for myself. Wah wah wah.” That’s all she says. Now you can fast-forward every time she speaks.

Choice Quotation: “Sometimes I just wanna lay in my bed and read a book the whole day.” Real Worlders can read!

Moment of High Comedy: The gang goes to a soccer game, and while everyone else cheers she sits down and complains about her failed music career.

Read the rest of this entry »

1) Andrew (previously #1)

At the tail end of last episode, a very drunk Andrew was pushed off the house’s railing onto the pavement by a very, very drunk Ty. So given that this week began with him being taken to the emergency room in an ambulance (he got away with just a few bruises), Andrew’s display of hilarity—dare I say it, adorable hilarity—is all the more impressive.

The highest points of the episode come when he drunkenly uses his fall to hit on Emily, gets a visit from his carbon-copy younger brother William, and debuts a new hat, this one fashioned like the head of a moose.

Choice Quotation: “If I had twins I would circumcise one and not the other, and that’s how I’d tell them apart. I’d name them the exact same thing.”

Moment of High Comedy: He reveals that he used to be addicted to comic books, spending up to $80 per week on them, until his family and friends stepped in and said, “’Andrew, you need to get laid.’”

2) Emily (previously #3)

As Andrew’s roommate, Emily takes it upon herself to help the poor, inebriated weirdo the most after his fall, subjecting herself to his awkward drunken come-ons. (Upon gesturing to his crotch, he says “Here, I didn’t fall on this area. Touch this.”) But when she gets at odds with former flame Ty over his destructive drinking habits, she turns it into a power struggle that I’m sure will carry itself into the next season of Real World/Road Rules Challenge.

Choice Quotation: “You are a tool! You are a dick! You are a douchebag!”

Moment of High Comedy: When talking about Andrew’s fall and its aftermath, she never refers to him by his real name, instead only as “Panda.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Window treatments

Do you ever walk down O Street and notice that the only window decorations college students can come up with are rows of empty, multicolored bottles of alcohol? Well, maybe the D.C. Commission on the Arts and Humanities has, and they’re trying to start a new trend. Now through March 31, the Commission is sponsoring the “Windows into DC” exhibit at the D.C. Convention Center. The Convention Center already houses a multimillion-dollar art collection within its walls, but they’re going to fill their empty window space with works by thirteen different local artists. The Convention Center is at 801 Mt. Vernon Place NW, just a short walk from the Metro Center station.

Andy Warhol at GW

Believe it or not, there was a time when pop art was more than a cool function in Mac Photobooth. This style of art, popular in the 1960s, was forever immortalized by photographer and modern icon Andy Warhol. As part of the Warhol Photographic Legacy Program, the Andy Warhol Foundation is giving out over 28,000 of Warhol’s photographs to colleges around the nation for them to put on display. Georgetown didn’t make the cut, but GWU got a nice little collection, sixteen of which are currently on display in their Luther W. Brady Art Gallery along with other works by Warhol’s hippie-era contemporaries. To get there, take the Blue or Orange line to Foggy Bottom/GWU.

Wednesday Poetry

Don’t feel like writing your English midterm paper? Convince yourself that it’s a worthy use of your time to go to a poetry reading instead. Tonight, March 3, from 7-9 p.m., the Arts Club of Washington is hosting a free reading from up-and-coming poets Tom Healy and Gabrielle Calvocoressi. Plus, there’s a book-signing afterward, and refreshments that you wouldn’t be able to find in Midnight Mug. The Arts Club is located at 2017 I Street, and the best way to get there is by cab.

1) Andrew (previously #7)

Sound the alarms, release a cageful of white doves, and cue the Hallelujah Chorus: Andrew got laid! But better yet—Andrew got laid twice! After the first encounter, when he sat in the confessional doing an awkward thumb-shaking dance repeatedly singing “I got some booootay,” America smiled along as they watched their favorite awkward virgin finally become a man. But don’t worry, he’s still the same Andrew we’ve grown to know and love: he fails at trying to procure a second rendezvous with one of the lucky ladies, drunkenly makes a pass at Emily, and does it all while wearing his panda hat.

Choice Quotation: “I want to have sex with her. Again. Why else would you take a girl on a date?”

Moment of High Comedy: He reveals that the only relationships he’s ever been in are ones where he thought they were together and the girl said otherwise.

2) Josh (previously #2)

The problem with trying to describe Josh’s actions is that there are only so many ways you can call someone a douchebag. This week he sleeps with a girl he meets with Andrew, has his idiotic girlfriend over for a visit, and then the night after she leaves gets with Kelly Anne, the same older broad from a few weeks ago. Seriously, I’m embarrassed to live in a city where there are that many girls willing to hook up with this tool.

Choice Quotation: “James Bond’s got a license to kill, rock star’s got a license to be outrageous.”

Moment of High Comedy: His girlfriend calls when he’s in bed with hookup #1. Well-played, MTV.

Read the rest of this entry »

An Eclipse in Georgetown

Students don’t seem to go to movies all that often. Aside from the general suckiness of most movies that have come out lately (yes, that includes Valentine’s Day), seeing them in the theater has gotten ridiculously expensive.

But this Tuesday, at the conveniently-located Georgetown AMC theater, you can see The Eclipse, a critically-acclaimed Irish independent film which debuted last year at the Tribeca Film Festival, for free before it opens at E Street in April. Following the screening, there will be a question-and-answer segment with the film’s director Conor McPherson and star Ciaran Hinds. Space is limited, so RSVP at TheEclipseRSVP@gmail.com. The movie starts at 6:30 p.m., and the theater is located at 3111K Street.

Redheads Have More Fun

No matter how many Olympic medals Shaun White wins, it seems like redheads will never get past the “gingers have no souls” stereotype that South Park started so many years ago. But artists Melissa Hackmann and Kathy Beynette are out to debunk some of these stereotypes—and embrace a few—with their current exhibit at the Lee Arts Center.

The collection, entitled “Redheads,” is on display through February 28, and it explores the different conceptions about those with the ginger gene through mixed-media acrylic paintings. The gallery is located at 5722 Lee Highway, and the best way to get there is by cab.

Cool Movies

March of the Penguins isn’t the first movie to ever be made about the South Pole, although it’s definitely the most “aww” inspiring. After aviator Richard Byrd became the first man to fly over Antarctica in 1929, the footage filmed of his voyage was compiled into the Oscar-winning documentary With Byrd at the South Pole. This Thursday at 7 p.m., the National Archives will be screening the film in conjunction with the Explorers Club Washington Group. To get there, take the Green or Yellow line to the National Archives station.

1) Mike (previously #3)

This spot really shouldn’t go to Mike, but rather to Mike’s homosexuality. Between a visit from his family where he talks to them about his work on LGBT issues and a fight with his needy boyfriend from back home over whether their relationship is “open” or not, the only way MTV could’ve been less subtle is if it’d had someone stand in the corner of the screen holding up a big, rainbow “MIKE’S GAY” banner.

Choice Quotation: “If I were a dog my tail would be wagging right now.”

Moment of High Comedy: When he takes his younger brother out to a bar with the roommates, he has a DFMO with Callie. The encounter is quickly followed by confessional footage of virtually every other housemate commenting on how gay he is.

2) Josh (previously #8 )

After a lengthy reign at the dead bottom of this list, Josh stages a coup this week when he puts together a mediocre group of musicians, calls them “Wicked Liquid,” and crowns himself their lead singer. But after he wailed trite lyrics (a Shakespearean excerpt: “Come on, honey, just love me ri-ight/ Maybe we can go lay somewhere toni-ight”) into the microphone for a good chunk of the episode, I suddenly longed for the days I got to forget he existed.

Choice Quotation: “You take one look at me, and that’s about it. Like that’s all you need. That’s what got me into most of the bands back home, just the way I look.”

Moment of High Comedy: The contorted look of pain that he makes when he sings is an exact replica of the face the TV-viewers make when they hear him sing.

Read the rest of this entry »

“Well, at least we don’t live in Darnall.” It’s the mantra of every Harbin resident with a leaky ceiling, every New South-er with a filthy public shower, and every Village C kid with a toilet-hating gunman on the loose.

But talk to anyone who actually lives in that hellhole, and they’ll tell you the sense of camaraderie among floormates makes it the best thing that’s ever happened to them. And now, thanks to GUTV, it’s a sitcom! That makes it campy-cool, right?

Well, if you were one of the tens of viewers who tuned into the premiere of Darnall: The Sitcom on GUTV last night, you saw that kids in this infamous residence hall live a life shockingly similar to that of any other Georgetown freshman. It’s filled with awkward floor-cestuous flirtation, irritating RAs, and slow-moving elevators. Aren’t you on crippled with laughter just thinking about it?

The premise of the show is a Friends-style living arrangement with Gilligan’s Island’s isolation. The cast is your standard, not-so-special freshmen, along with two freshman basketball players and an RA who won’t let the kids play by themselves. The episode’s climax involves a broken elevator door that leaves the gang trapped, feeble and Facebook-less in the dorm’s basement.

Read the rest of this entry »

Curl of Your Dreams

Do you think you could handle a sport of high drama, fierce competition, and gut-wrenching suspense? No? Then how about one where you sweep ice with brooms?

If you’ve ever been interested in (or baffled by) curling, arguably the strangest of all Olympic sports, then you might want to stop by the Washington Hilton Garden Inn Downtown sometime between this Friday and Sunday. There, you can witness the Capital Curling Expo, an informational and educational event where you can learn about curling technique, history, and even local playing opportunity.

Who knows, maybe a Georgetown Curling Team will be in our future. The Hilton is located at 815 14th Street NW. To get there, take the blue or orange line to McPherson Square.

Read the rest of this entry »