Vox returned to Tombs trivia for a third time this week to see if Hoyas were still yukking it up with cheap jokes about horrible things that happen to other Hoyas. We were not disappointed … which is to say we were deeply disappointed. Who “won” this round?
First place (The “whiny little bloggers” memorial trophy): It’s not rape if you say, “Surprise!” Surprise! Week after week, Hoyas who can’t come up with clever team names decide to make fun of rape instead.
Second place (The “fighting the pussification of America” silver medal): Is it too tsunami for Japan jokes? Have experts likened its nuclear crisis to Chernobyl? Then … probably, yes.
Runner-up (The “it’s called dark humor” consolation prize): Hit your baby one more time. Failing that, push her down the stairs, right guys?
But we’ll be the first to admit that last night, team names were on the whole more hilarious than nasty. So after the jump, find out which team won the inaugural “Four years later and we’re still drinking in a basement” medal of honor:
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Or, “The most shameful Tombs trivia team names that the Georgetown community should be ashamed of but probably isn’t.” But that wouldn’t fit in the title. Either way, today we present to you Vox‘s newest feature, designed to celebrate the lowest common denominator of Hoya humor as exemplified by the most stellar team names juniors and seniors selected for Monday night Tombs trivia.
So, without further tongue-clicking:
The winner: No means yes, and yes means anal. Among the high forms of comedy—satire, parody, irony—cracks at rape surely rank as the highest.
Second place: Number of stairs I kicked my girlfriend down when she told me she was pregnant. The lily-livered, PC wimp seated beside me said he hoped that this was a seriously misguided reference to Gone With the Wind. Psssh! If there’s a joke about relationship abuse that isn’t funny, I haven’t heard it.
Runners up: Will someone please change the channel from women’s basketball. Capitally hilarious, especially since the Georgetown women’s basketball team sadly, yet inevitably, lost during the NCAA tournament. Number of guys you have to blow to be a Miller Lite girl. A winning compliment to the hosts of the game, Bud Light. More like Gay-daffi. It’s funny because … gay!
If I missed a real zinger, please share in the comments. And until next week, Hoya Saxa!
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No Stephen R. Brown blog is complete without his camera skillz
How does Burleith resident Stephen R. Brown follow up his instant hit of a blog “Drunken Georgetown Students“? By calling for the removal of Georgetown President Jack DeGioia and Ward 2 Councilmember Jack Evans on of course!
Blogging at RemoveJack.com and RemoveJackEvans.com, two blogs largely dedicated to 2010 Campus Plan news/bashing, Brown demands that Evans “give up his post as Councilman and either teach at the University or return full-time to law” and that DeGioia to “GO BACK TO TEACHING.”
Here’s a glimpse at his open letter to DeGioia:
“We just gave you the ability to raise 211 million dollars at very favorable interest rates and you spent it on a science center and not dormitories. And yes… we have tried negotiating with you for a year. You haven’t changed your demands a bit. If you can’t moderate your business practices, I suspect that your reputation as a first class University which produces world leaders, scholars and diplomats will soon be on par with the likes of Kaplan, DeVry and the University of Phoenix.”
More gems like this after the jump.
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This morning, Georgetown University freshman Michelle Konkoly fell from her fifth-story dorm room, according to Fox News. The incident occurred at 1:30 a.m., the Metropolitan Police Department told Fox. According to the Hoya, Konkoly fell from a window in Village C West.
University spokesperson Julie Green Bataille said that emergency workers found the 18-year-old injured but conscious after the accident, and she was admitted to George Washington University hospital in serious condition. Konkoly had permission to come back to campus early to avoid travel delays caused by snow.
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[Editor's Note: This post was originally published last year.]
Thanksgiving dinners and football may be proud American traditions, but nowadays, they don’t figure very heavily into life at Georgetown. That wasn’t always the case. Students used to celebrate Thanksgiving Day all together on campus (forget skipping your Wednesday classes) and Georgetown University used to annually host the Washington Thanksgiving Game—the most popular football game in town.
Beginning in the 1850s, Georgetown began to throw a yearly Thanksgiving Day feast for its students, which Georgetown’s Southern students referred to disparagingly as “Yankee Christmas.” The turkey dinner, Robert Curran writes in The Bicentennial History of Georgetown University, took place after a High Mass and came “with all the trimmings, including pumpkin pie.”
By the 1880s, a concert that included performances by the Georgetown Banjo Club, Mandolin Club, and Glee Club rounded out the night.
Georgetown began to host the annual football game by the turn of the century, and at the time, it was the place to be in Washington on Thanksgiving Day. Attendance was regularly in the thousands. It was a time when college football was a brutal affair and it wasn’t uncommon for players to incur injuries that resulted in death.
That was the case for a Georgetown halfback, George Bahen, in 1894, when he was paralyzed in a game against the local Columbia Athletic Club.
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“jermain hoya” was able to synthesize the deluge of information being reported about Saturday’s incident in Harbin into one, demonstrative fact:
“harbin cooks better shit than leo’s”
“Andrew” thought that Georgetown’s response was a little overblown when he learned that there was no meth lab in Harbin:
“So this “meth lab” was actually a few kids making DMT for their own consumption? Georgetown really needs to work on their “blowing things out of proportion” problem before they work on this whole “drug” thing.”
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Got photos of today’s chaos at Harbin Hall? Vox wants to share them!
So if you were a passerby or a (formerly) displaced Harbinite with a camera phone, tweet your photos of the chaos @GtownVoice or upload them to the Georgetown Voice Flickr group and we’ll put them up on Vox!
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Several separate bias related incidents occurred in two freshman residence halls in the last week, a Public Safety Alert sent out by the Department of Public Safety reports. In New South on Monday, Sept. 6 and Saturday, Sept. 11, four students had Swastikas and the word “Hitler” written on the dry erase boards on their doors. They reported the incidents to DPS on Sept. 12, after which DPS learned that a similar incident had taken place in Darnall Hall sometime between Sept. 11 and 13.
There were no witnesses in any of these incidents.
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On Monday afternoon at 2:00 p.m., a student reported to the Department of Public Safety that his townhouse on the 3600 block of Prospect had been burglarized. Two laptops were taken from his house some time after he left at 11:30 Monday morning.
In a public safety alert, DPS reported that there were no signs of forced entry and no witnesses to the crime. The Metropolitan Police Department had been notified and is investigating the case.
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In what may be the summer’s most astounding news, The Georgetowner has printed a joint op-ed from the Burleith Citizens Association, the Citizens Association of Georgetown, the Foxhall Community Citizens Association, the Glover Park Citizens Association, and the Hillandale Homeowners Association dissing Georgetown University’s 2010 Campus Plan. In short, our parents had the moon landing, and we will always remember where we were when we heard about this astonishing op-ed.
The news developing around this event has already taken on some bizarre elements. The op-ed decries the increased enrollment of 3,400 students that the plan proposes, but does not specify whether these students will be traditional undergraduates or mostly adults enrolled in the School of Continuing Studies who already have houses in like, Virginia. (Update: Early reports from months and months ago have University officials saying that this is, indeed, the profile of those some three-thousand students. We are still standing by for a response from the BCA and CAG).
Mysteriously, the op-ed also criticizes Georgetown University for building a roof over Kehoe Field, but it is possible that in its feverish coverage of this unfathomable news, Vox has missed out on valuable information concerning the involvement of Georgetown’s field sports athletes in a conspiracy to throw disruptive parties. As for the 80-plus-foot smokestack that Georgetown intends to build over its heating and cooling plant, at this time, there is no evidence that the smokestack will negatively affect surrounding air quality, but we will inform as soon as we can verify the assumption that it will.
Walter Cronkite cried on TV when he read this op-ed.
Want to commemorate this astonishing moment in history? Email Vox at email@example.com to request a Campus Plan lawn sign.
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