If you ever needed proof that Georgetowners are sometimes way too fond of their community, look no further than Carol Joynt’s bizarre treatise on why Georgetown should secede from D.C. to form its own city.

No, you did not misread me. In a weird and naive jeremiad about how much the rest of the District sucks, Joynt suggests we go Confederate on their asses, leaving their Home Rule-less, broke city behind:

“Reason one is that DC’s not going to get home rule. I just don’t see it happening. Why should we wait around, caving into powerlessness, when we could come together to create a governing body that helps to improve the quality of living right here where we live? ….

“If you think about it, it makes sense. If you live in Georgetown, how much of the management of the city government relates to you in a positive way? How many city government decisions are made with Georgetown even remotely in the equation?

“On the other hand, we pay high taxes. I would imagine a good chunk of the parking enforcement haul comes from Georgetown. We are a major tourist attraction, from which the city benefits. I’m just not convinced an appropriate amount of our tax dollars come back to Georgetown.”

Joynt also points out how super unfair it is that Georgetown has to share their councilmember, Jack Evans, “with too wide a swatch of the city and other neighborhoods that don’t share all our issues.”

Later in the day, a friend expressed concern that Georgetown would do a severe disservice to neighborhoods like Anacostia who benefit from Georgetown tax dollars, Joynt was not at all worried:

“Being our own city wouldn’t mean that Georgetown would become irresponsible. We would give and be involved in ways of our own choosing, and hopefully more effectively. [She] feared, too, that Georgetown would lose any hope of diversity. But if we were a well-run community we could attract more diversity, yes? It was an interesting debate.”

Basically, Joynt is saying, the rest of D.C. will miss us when we’re gone and saving them from the outside, and lots of people from all background will vie for entry to our idyllic, magnanimous community.

Wanna bet?

A week ago, Carol Joynt, who owned Nathan’s on Wisconsin Ave. and M Street before it closed this past July, wrote on her blog that she’s heard that a restaurant is moving into the Nathan’s space—and trying to illegally assume use of her liquor license in the process.

“You might think that can’t happen in our communal village but unfortunately it can, with many underhanded assists, especially from folks downtown,” she wrote. “My rights have been getting stomped on like the grapes in a barrel after harvest.”

Since then, attempts to transfer the license that were before the Alcoholic Beverage Control Board have been stopped.

The real mystery is, what’s moving into to the location? Georgetown Metropolitan has heard that it’s “a steak frites place run by Tom Gregg, president of the Alexandria-based … Cuisine Solutions.” A BGR The Burger Joint is another possibility.

Neighborhood leaders who are involved in the process are keeping mum on the potential restaurateur, and neither rumored buyer has denied or confirmed that they are moving in, but Vox will keep you posted as it learns more.

Photo from Carol Joynt’s Blog