While D.C. leaders have been touring the country, attempting to convince state lawmakers to help the District grow up and become a full-fledged state, the D.C. Council has been spewing profanity and piling up cell phone bills like petulant teenagers.

In the last 16 months, the council members and approximately 30 senior staff members who use city-issued phones tallied a cell phone bill of $61,000, according to the Washington Post. While the majority of monthly fees have been normal, Council members Muriel Bowser (D-Ward 4) and Michael Brown (I-At Large) have racked up some truly impressive bills.

Including a $734.45 bill for the month of August, Bowser incurred $3,016 in charges last year, or an average of $251 per month. She said she had to participate in a conference call while on vacation in August. Bowser told the Post, “I am always on duty, check in with my office and available on my BlackBerry at all times, even while on vacation.”

The award for highest monthly fee goes to Brown, whose bill for the month of July was a whopping $1,083. According to his office, the expense was incurred because he continued to receive emails on his mobile device from other council members, his staff and his constituents while he was vacationing.

Although the Post article does not list any particularly egregious examples, it also notes that staff members were occasionally responsible for monthly bills reaching into the hundreds of dollars. The Council has now renegotiated its contract with AT&T, and hopes to reduce costs by as much as one-third.

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Strange things are afoot with everyone’s favorite transportation system!

First off, in the face of budget problems, the Washington Metropolitan Area Transportation Authority is considering allowing retail kiosks in Metro stations. While this would boost revenue for WMATA, it would also undermine the vaunted “no food, no drink” policy that’s made the Metro the one rat-free part of D.C. In fairness, though, the ban would stay in place, and vendors would be peddling food and beverages packaged in a way that would discourage immediate consumption (in the words of one Metro official, “The idea is not a sizzling kabob”). The WMATA board will decide later this month whether to solicit proposals for kiosks.

Secondly, in October, most cell phone users will be able to get service in the 20 busiest Metro stations. WMATA hashed out a deal with $40 million dollar deal with Sprint Nextel, AT&T, T-Mobile, and Verizon Wireless. By 2010 all 47 stations will be covered, and by 2012 you’ll be able to get a signal in the tunnels.

Finally, not a change, but while we’re on the subject of Metro, WMATA just released a survey detailing the differences between Metrorail and Metrobus riderships. The basic conclusion is that Metrorail serves a more affluent, less diverse population. Eighty percent of Metrorail riders have college degrees, compared to 59 percent of Metrobus riders. The median income for Metrorail passengers is $102,110, while for Metrobus passengers it’s $69,620. Minorities account for only a quarter of Metrorail ridership, but on Metrobus, more than half the patrons are minorities.

Photo from Flickr user fenterbme, used under a Creative Commons license.

There won’t be room for these guys

Add your cell provider to the list of infrastructures that probably won’t be able to handle D.C.’s inauguration crowds. According to WTOP, providers are trying their best to make sure that every one of the 2 to 4 million people expected to descend upon the District can still make a phone call.

Nonetheless, they’re begging you to text:

CTIA [the group which represents the wireless industry] is suggesting that people send text messages instead of phone calls when possible, because text messages place less strain on the network and are more likely to go through. CTIA is also suggesting that people refrain from immediately trying to send photos or videos from the scene, because they gobble up large amounts of bandwidth.

What’s your provider up to?

• Sprint “would anticipate a dropped call rate of only 2 percent even if the crowds reach as high as 2 million.”
• “Mobile provider T-Mobile said its preparations for the inauguration exceed those of any single-day event in the company’s history.” That doesn’t mean a whole lot, but hey, at least they’re busy.
• And as for the wireless darling of the Metro system, “Verizon Wireless, a big local player, referred questions to [CTIA].” One hopes that’s just a sign of their dedication, and they’ve enlisted their spokesperson to install temporary cell towers on the Mall.

Still, better that Grandma calls than nature calls.

Can you hear me now? Probably not if you are reading from one of Washington’s underground metro stations. Currently only Verizon and Sprint customers can make or receive calls, but according to the Post, hope may not be far away. The $1.5 billion metro funding bill includes provisions for expanding cell coverage in 20 of the district’s busiest stations, including Rosslyn, Dupont Circle, Foggy Bottom, and Gallery Place-Chinatown.

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Realizing how much the kids love texting, what with the Twitter, DC police chief Cathy Lanier has wisely decided to let people text crime tips to the police. Even better, the number–50411–is inspired by street slang that calls snitching “putting the 5-0 to the 411″. Next time you see a suspicious package, you can feel just like Bubbles.

Via We Love DC