MPD: Bass Ackwards.
It’s not often you can chuckle at something that poses a mild threat to your safety. But you can’t help but laugh at the befuddling new crime summaries MPD 2D has begun sending members of its listserv, which almost seemed designed to keep you in the dark about the criminal goings-on in your neighborhood. (Ths after trying to replace the crime reports with—you call that a crime map?)
Georgetown Metropolitan does a good job comparing the older, better crime summaries to their newer, garbled counterparts:
Here’s an example of the old ones from February 19th:
PSA 206: Theft occurred in the 3200 block of M Street NW on 2/14/09 between
8:15 pm and 8:20 pm. A citizen reports that one subject stole a coat
from the location. The subject is described as a white male, 5′7″ and 135 lbs.
Now compare the listings above to what started getting released around the beginning of March:
PSA : 206
CCN : 09030187
RPT DATE : Mar 6 2009 12:00AM
SHIFT : DAY
OFFENSE : Theft
METHOD : 2
BLOCK : 3200 B/O M ST NW
LOCATION : Specialty Store
START DT : 03/06/2009
START TM : 13:00:00
END DT : 03/06/2009
END TM : 13:10:00
“Hell,” he notes, “they’re not even gathered by PSA. You have to browse through the whole list to find all the crimes for your particular neighborhood.”
Right on. What’s with that coding, anyway? We’ve got the full glossary after the jump, but among my favorites are “MPD = Metropolitan Police Department” (got it?), and “Criss Cross = Two people fighting, usually against each other, both are arrested” (you learn something new everyday!).
One thing’s for sure—If George the Third ever comes back from the dead, she ought to adopt this catchy new phrasing. Doesn’t “Spotted, W/M, L/S with A/F didn’t LOF A/F’s ex-boyfriend, who used F & V in an ensuing Criss Cross at B/O Sig Ep house. XOXO, R1,” just sound so titillating?