When a Burleith listserv user accused Georgetown of killing kittens, Vox and University spokesperson Julie Green Bataille wondered where in the world she got that idea. Well, We Love DC may have found the answer.

We Love DC’s Don claims to have accidentally come across the Wikipedia page for what he calls the “internet phenomenon that is a picture of a kitten fleeing domo-kun and the caption ‘every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten,’” while searching for something else (what was that, Don?). He noticed that the Wikipedia entry claims the phrase originated right here on campus:

The phrase originally appeared as the headline “Fact: Every Time You Masturbate, God Kills a Kitten. How Many More Have to Die?” with a kitten photo on the cover of The Gonzo, a satirical publication produced by students at Georgetown University, in 1996.”

Indeed, The Gonzo’s Wiki page hails with the issue whose cover was emblazoned with a sympathetic-looking kitten and the same phrase. Their page also reveals now defunct publication used to parody the Hoya before they parodied themselves.

Via We Love DC.

Every time you procrastinate, Georgetown kills a kitten. No, but seriously, they do.

Here at Georgetown, it’s pretty much a given that the neighbors are going to complain about the University—our buses are too loud, our parties are too loud, etc—but last week on the Burleith listserv, “Renee” came up with a novel (and horrifying) accusation: ruthless cat killing.

I would like to know why Georgetown University is killing the stray cats left behind by their own students. They have done this several times and it truly sickens me. Part of a university’s job is to teach their students to become responsible adults and leaving cats behind so the university can trap and kill them is extremely inhumane and irresponsible …

All local PETA, adopt a cat programs and local shelters that don;t kill animals are aware of Goergetown U’s horrible actions.. You can also check on the web that Georgetown repeatedly trapped cats and send them to killed at animal shelters. They claimed the cats were feral when in actuality they were had belonged to uncaring students who left them to fend for themselves. All the cats Georgetown U. trapped were euthanized.

Yikes. So is it true? University Spokesperson Julie Green-Bataille says no, we don’t “destroy” cats, we send them off to the bucolic farmlands of Pennsylvania:

Not sure where this is coming from –there is currently nothing of this sort taking place on campus [nor] has there ever been, best I can tell. I think several years ago in response to a ferrell [sic] cat problem on campus, Georgetown humanely worked to remove some cats using cages and relocating them to a farm in Pennsylvania—none were ever destroyed.

Odd choice of a verb, but, for my peace of mind, I’m going to believe her. I guess we can’t trust the fine reporting from Hoya Suxa after all…

Photo from Flickr user Tom Clifton, used under a Creative Commons license.