Last week, students moaned the unfortunate closure of our beloved Papa Razzi. In a cry of despair, Jane Hoya voiced what many of us were thinking:

THIS IS A TRAGEDY!!

doo$h, as always, provided some helpful insight. And a moment to reflect with Cafe Milano’s lobby-elevator-just plain awful music.

Hey, let’s take a break from crucifying blog editors and get back to the real issue. How am I supposed to get laid without this restaurant? It was great for dates. The food was good, it was pretty cheap but looked nice, and it was kind of loud so if you said anything awkward you could just pretend she misheard you. Now what am I supposed to do? Take a girl to Cafe Milano? Right, I’m going to spend 75 bucks to sit next to a Saudi guy getting assassinated by Pakistan. But it’s either that or go all the way to Texas just to play Super Mario Bros.
Also, check out http://www.cafemilano.net/ for the most ridiculous music

And last but not least, some Californian owner of Palm Desert Marijuana Dispensary apparently found our article on dispensaries in DC pretty useful.

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This was the movie everyone was talking about.  What we were all waiting for.  The summer blockbuster that would bring back our favorite super heroes we know and love from comic books, cartoons, movies and of course music.  That’s right, Men in Black 3.

We all grew up loving Men in Black and not being quite old enough to realize how bad Men in Black 2 was.  But it’s been ten years since the second movie came out, and you can’t sell tickets by dumb gimmicks, like having the title be MIIIB. You need 3D now.

So how has the interracial, inter-age group, inter-species buddy cop formula aged? Not well.

The first thing I noticed is how much of a toll time has taken on Will Smith.  At first glance I mistook him for one of the alien characters.  Then I realized I was still in the previews for Madea’s Witness Protection.

Previous Men in Black media left us with some big questions that needed clarification.  For example, the implications that our galaxy is a marble, our universe is the inside of a locker, Tommy Lee Jones has a half-alien daughter and that the movies themselves are based on real events using more illegal aliens working as actors than Chipotle has rolling burritos.

So does this movie wrap up all these loose ends into another shining masterpiece bringing the series back to its glory days?

Of course not.  Instead it introduces a whole slew (possibly even two to two and a half slews) of new questions to answer.  Now we have time travel paradoxes to deal with.  And not even the kind which are on purpose and make you try to least wrap your brain around until you claw out your eyes, like in Primer. Not even the ridiculous, stupid but fun kind of paradox like in Timesplitters.  They are mostly just holes in the plot left by lazy writers and largely ignored by the characters. The audience is then forced either to follow suit and not pay much attention to the movie or walk out.  And when a movie’s goal is to not have your attention, it isn’t a good sign.

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