Although we really, really wanted NBC Washington‘s story about cupcake bouncers to be true, it isn’t.

“Because of the long line, we posted employees outside to greet customers and hand out menus,” Georgetown Cupcake co-owner Sophie LaMontagne said. “I don’t know about this whole bouncer rumor. They’re sixteen-year old girls!”

The alleged bouncers, originally spotted by Eating Around DC, also hand out water bottles to customers waiting in line.

We can’t help but imagine the ramifications of cupcake bouncers. Maybe they would deliver forearm shivers to Midwestern tourists. Maybe Julian Vaughn could work two jobs. And maybe, in our wildest dreams, they would assault a DC Cupcakes cameraman.

We’re just about as confused as Casual Hoya about the most recent news to come out of upstate New York: former men’s basketball coach and all-around bad-ass John Thompson, Jr. was honored last night by Syracuse’s Temple Adath Yeshurun.

That’s right. In the same city where tens of thousands of people regularly booed him, Thompson was named “Citizen of the Year.”

Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim, who once had a vicious rivalry with Thompson, delivered the ceremony’s opening speech.

“I’m just proud I can call John Thompson my friend,” Boeheim said. “It should never get personal … sometimes for fans I think it gets too personal.”

Thompson, who brought a national championship and three Final Four appearances to Georgetown over his 27-year career, was equally gracious—but couldn’t avoid taking one goodhearted jab at Syracuse.

“As competitive as the relationships have been in the past, I’ve always respected you as fans because I thought the people of Syracuse appreciated basketball,” Thompson said. “But as appreciative as I am, I ain’t coming back.”

That’ll do, Big John. That’ll do.

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On Tuesday, the Baltimore Sun reported that a Maryland inspector found 40 body bags—and their occupants—illegally stored in the garage of a Prince George’s County funeral home.

The shocking part of the story? Many of the bodies came from Georgetown’s School of Medicine.

The University contracted the Chambers Funeral Home & Crematorium “to take its anatomical donor remains for cremation,” according to Sun reporter Jacques Kelly, who spoke with Dean for Medical Education Stephen Ray Mitchell.

“The School of Medicine’s contract with the Chambers Funeral Home specifically outlines the school’s requirements that the remains be treated in a ‘respectful and organized manner.’ It appears that this was not the case in this instance,” Mitchell wrote in a released statement.

William Chambers, a co-owner of the funeral home, claimed that the contract’s specifics lead to many bodies being delivered at once, hence the pile of bodies.

“It was agreed to, but discouraged,” Chambers said of the deliveries, according to the Sun.

(Editor’s note: Here’s where you stop reading if you’re eating now, plan to eat soon, or ever want to eat again.)

According to the state inspector’s notes, the body bags were discovered in a “large pile, approximately 12 by 12 feet … on the floor of the garage in front of a removal van.”

The inspector also noticed “visible leakage from the body bags” and noted the “a pungent odor” that presumably came from the decaying bodies.

(Editor’s note: GROSS.)

Photo from Flickr user photographybycalvincropley used under a Creative Commons license.

Be wary the next time you head out to an off-campus party—you just might end up on “Drunken Georgetown Students,” a website run by a Burleith resident which publishes photographs and written accounts of off-campus student life.

The site, which dubs Georgetown “AN EAST COAST PARTY SCHOOL,” is run by neighbor and former American University professor Stephen R. Brown. Besides being a place for him to make bizarre claims like, “Unfortunately if two students hadn’t died on campus this year in alcohol related students (and who knows how many more that are ‘in official denial’, it might be amusing,” he makes as suggestions on the site about how Georgetown and Burleith residents can best report student disturbances.

In an interview this afternoon, Brown, a Villanova graduate, said, “I live across from six student houses and two young professional houses. I document what happens in the alley … I report everything to the police that is put on the blog … [The site] is just an attempt to make sure that the University is aware that there’s trouble.”

In addition to publishing photographs of students, Brown also posts residents’ accounts of student activity off-campus.

“I don’t consult with [the students who I photograph.] I’m doing what I’m doing … I have the First Amendment right to photograph whatever is going on,” he claimed.

While the only photographs currently posted to the site are his own, Brown hopes to post other residents’ photographs of students in the future.

“I might run a contest. I was thinking of having a drunken Georgetown student photo contest,” Brown said. “Maybe we could have a urination category.”

After the jump, check out some excerpts Vox plucked from Brown’s site.

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