Yes, Stebbs, because a boy named Ash Ketchum catching “pocket monsters” is realistic.

There’s no need to worry Mary Kate, that’ll definitely fit in the overhead compartment. Read the rest of this entry »

Vanya may have trouble with doors, but you should see what she can do with Microsoft Windows.

Tim can be found tearfully singing “My Heart Will Go On” and clinging to the Healy statue after graduation.

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Vox apologizes for the delay in delivering the Tweets from on high—she was really, really busy studying. Possibly in a dark, sweaty place with loud music and too many youths, which is a situation absolutely none of you are familiar with.

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Michelle Pliskin knows what she’s talking about. Few people recognize Beyoncé’s innovation, but the pop sensation has taken conquering new territory to a whole new level.

Do it for the story, Samantha.

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Allie Van Dine obviously doesn’t realize that the buses were rerouted so that the neighbors’ houses wouldn’t all topple over due to the additional shaking due to GUTS buses. Looks like most students have the same attitude to the more circuitous route, even when they don’t have mono.

All Luigi DiTomasso needs is some hookers and we can get some real blow jobs. Read the rest of this entry »

Shots have been fired by Bridget Coburn. Hibernation season lasted longer than anyone could have anticipated. Boys can’t be expected to work off their winter Natty bellies in a matter of days.

Assistant Vox Editor Ryan Greene seems to be the only one complaining about the arrival of spring. This can be attributed to two factors: spring is too wimpy of a season for a pop-punk lover and severely freckled gingers don’t do particularly well in the sun.
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Still need help coping with Georgetown’s loss to FGCU? Rahul Guha brings out his eighth grade math logic to help.

Look guys, Otto Porter is just like us! He does chores, he gets scolded, and he knows how to throw his brother under the bus, just like any older sibling quickly learned to do. Read the rest of this entry »

Hate is a strong word, but, when it comes to the wok, Bridget Coburn doesn’t think so.
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Beyoncé seems to be too mainstream for Zach Ash. If he really wanted to make a dig at Beyoncé, the least he could have done was hashtag team Michelle.

Emily Weinberg and Sarah Butterfield and their words of wisdom. Be careful or Washington Post commenters will make fun of you.

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