Where to go in Georgetown when the pipes, the pipes are calling

Judging by the regular appearances that “public indecency” charges make in our monthly crime maps, when nature calls to intoxicated Georgetown students, intoxicated Georgetown students will opt to answer the call out in nature.

And normally, that probably works out for them. But St. Patrick’s Day is not just any debauched night in Georgetown. Even though everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, not everyone will be drinking. Revelers, you’ll have to be extra careful about where you choose to erin go bragh—because passersby you may think are coming from parties could just as easily be coming from Lau.

Luckily, some male Voice staffers have opted to make a list of places on campus that provide the most amount of cover for students needing to relieve themselves:

  • The parking lot behind Tombs and Wisey’s — The classic squat spot. Sheltered, an abundance of dumpsters and walls to choose from, and not a place that’s likely to be trafficked by DPS. On the other hand, in some areas, it’s pretty well lit.
  • Behind White Gravenor — Although it’s pretty out in the open, the area behind WGR is poorly-lit for the most part, and on the way to and from areas on campus where you’re likely to be drinking.
  • Village B trash area — Like the dumpsters behind White Gravenor, the Village B dump’s location makes it a convenient place for a pit stop. It’s not the most private place on campus, though, and with spring on its way, you may have rodent company.
  • The alley next to the newer (but also former) Philly P’s — Going in this narrow, poorly-trafficked alleyway that lies between the former site of Philly Pizza and a long, brick, ivy-covered wall makes it a true Georgetown experience. On the downside, now that Philly’s has closed, it’s not really on the way to anything.
  • The trash area across the street from the Car Barn — Private if you’re willing to venture into the enclosure, but like the trash area in Village B, also home to critters.
  • Small clearing in the trees at the dead end at the end of 37th street — The big thing this area has going for it is that unless you’re relieving yourself, there’s no reason to be down there, so it’s private. And hey, you might even see some deer.

14 Comments on “Where to go in Georgetown when the pipes, the pipes are calling

  1. …but often not as disgusting as the alternative. Thanks, Vox!

  2. Parking lot behind Wisey’s and Tombs is not the best idea. I’ve heard of UIPs behind there. Really, if you’re going to walk all that way off 36th Street, you’re probably safer just hitting up Walsh 3. 14 urinals can’t be wrong.

    The trash area across from Car Barn is usually a winner but if it’s quiet and well-lit, I’m not sure I’d recommend it. I’ve also done the Village B trash area many a time, but like the Car Barn one only in the dark.

    Cops are going to be dying to give out UIPs, so I really wouldn’t recommend it. I do it all the time, but not in broad daylight and not on a day that I would imagine will be as heavily policed as this one is.

    For my money, Lau 3 is a totally underrated urination spot. Other than Maguire (which is strange and confusing to me) there’s really nothing within a couple minute walk (Tombs, New South, and WGR are the closest in the three directions you would be walking).

  3. Um, it’s not that hard to find a bathroom actually inside of Car Barn, WGR, Tombs…

  4. There better be another post about where to “partake” on 3/20, then, Vox.

  5. You forgot down the Exorcist Steps. Yeah, I’ve done that before.

  6. And if you’re at Village A, the Maguire bathroom can be accessed really easily through the entrance closest to the Village A stairs. Wayyy better than the awkward drunken swipe to get into Lau.

  7. 1. Like Not Vernon Macklin said, down the Exorcist Steps. Exhilarating.

    2. On the face of the Francis Scott Key statue in Francis Scott Key Park. Aim high with one hand and wave at traffic coming off Mr. Key’s bridge with the other. Even more exhilarating.

  8. I’ll never forget the night I was walking my dog on Reservoir and came upon a member of America’s future relieving himself on the bushes in my neighbor’s front yard. I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he sheepishly slurred out the request that I not sic my 120 lbs German shepherd on him. Stay classy, Hoyas!

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