Healy thieves offer clock hands for bulldog Jack Jr. and $0.02

Yesterday, the Healy Clock thieves posted on CollegeCraig, a website for students to buy, sell, and trade items, offering to return the clock hands in exchange for the tall order of Jack Jr. and a negotiable two cents USD. The ransom, posted at 2:50pm on Thursday afternoon, is written as a poem.

“We have your key to make Hoya history/ And since we’re not much for the publicity/ we’ll give it back in double, but don’t want any more trouble. The semester is getting late so stand down/ bring us the dog and wait wait wait,” the poem reads. But he’s just a child!

Jack Jr., also known as J.J., came into the world of Georgetown in late March, and is a mere five months old. He currently resides in New South with Jack the Bulldog and caretaker Rev. Christopher Steck, S.J., and reportedly has a “mellow personality.” Jack Jr. is the mascot-to-be of Georgetown.

Whether or not the university will cave in to these demands is to be seen. For now, the clock hands remain under the stewardship of Reaper, Goliath, and Juliet.

Photo: Julian De La Paz

12 Comments on “Healy thieves offer clock hands for bulldog Jack Jr. and $0.02

  1. They’ll have JJ when they pry him from our cold dead hands

  2. do we take this to mean that the hands are still in their position. Sheesh, I’m getting rid of those things ASAP if I was the one who stole them.

  3. Was thinking the same thing. Does this mean they’re not en route to the Vatican as they stated before? LIARS, ALL.

  4. I’m with Allie. The fact that the thieves can’t keep their story straight is troubling. The University should ignore them completely and just install new hands.

  5. Do you think it’s possible that the person who posted the poem is not one of the thieves, but just someone having a little bit of fun? The first letter proved that they had the hands and then told us that the clock was fine and the hands had been sent, this second one is obviously a joke and I would bet that it has nothing to do with the people who actually took the hands and could potentially get in trouble for it.

  6. I agree with James, this poem is just meant for a laugh, last time the hands disappeared several people wrote in claiming to be the thieves, just signing something Reaper, Goliath and Juliet doesn’t make it legit.

  7. The university took down the other hands according to the Washington post.

  8. My guess is this is in fact the other set of hands that the school took down. They’re short on money and they’re trying to raise money by any means possible. The 2 cents can pay the Leo’s staff for next semester, and I’m sure Jack Jr. is insured for a few million.

  9. this poem is not legit people. its just some random kid trying to be funny.
    reaper, goliath, and juliets’ letter was legit (picture people)

    also, what georgetown student would want to see JJ go? the clock culprits certainly dont–they are probably some of the most fervent georgetown fans on campus!

    this poem is a falsity that anyone (my guess is a non-gu student) could have fabricated.

  10. How do the thieves steal the clock hands from Healy
    Tower ?

  11. If President De Gioia had any intestinal fortitude, he would say: “Enough is enough. This is irresponsible vandalism masquerading as an innocent prank. Return the hands, no questions askeed. Until such time as they are returned, any festivities associated with graduation are indefinitely suspended.” The Jesuits would have been much, much more severe in the “good old days,” and they would have had results long before this.

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