Just the Tip: Nothing to hide, nothing to show

Hai Connor,

I’m in a terrible spot with Facilities and I want to scream. I put in a work request to have them fix the hinge on my closet door a month ago, and they only came to fix it today. What’s worse is “fixing” the closet door for them involved just taking it out of my room. So now I’m down a closet door and Facilities thinks this work request is “completed.” Do you know a good way to get them to do what I want, preferably within a month?
Doorless in the Quad

Hey Doorless in the Quad,

Why would you need a closet door if you have nothing to hide? To be honest, this question seems more like an admission of guilt than a request for help. What are you up to, Doorless in the Quad, huh? You know what? You’re a monster. You’re a monster and Facilities is one big bureaucratic HERO for taking away your door and making your wretched life a bit more transparent. Do I know a good way to get them to do what you want? I’m not giving you any advice until you turn yourself in for whatever terrible crime you’re trying to conceal. Disgusting.

Shame on you,

Dear Connor,

So I’m really into my RA. He and I became friends last year and I coincidentally ended up living on his floor this year. Is it a good idea to try to hook up with him? I know it probably isn’t, but take into consideration the fact that I REALLY want to.

Love Hurts

Hey Love Hurts,

Your RA probably won’t hook up with you as long as you’re a student in the rigid social caste system that is Georgetown. If you become an RA and move up in the hierarchy, maybe you’ll have a chance, but otherwise, law prohibits him from having any casual contact with you. Seeing as this is a law punishable by death, it’s doubtful that you’ll be able to hook up with him regardless of how much you want to. The only exception is if you somehow find a way to ascend to the level of an RA, at which point you have a common mating call and can legally hook up in a way that society will not condemn.

Great luck to you and your kin,
Connor Rohan

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